Wild Horses and Rabbits Don't Mix
by Joe Fenton
Summary: A Ranma/Sailor Moon X-over. Ranma and Genma are tossed out of Nerima. Good thing Genma has those other 'arrangements.'
1. Part I (four chapters)

A Ranma 1/2 / Sailor Moon cross over mini-series. A PG rating for language and situations.

This story and a few others can be found on my web page at  
http://www.geocities.com/jlfenton65/  
jlfenton65@yahoo.com

Ranma 1/2 is a trademark of Viz Communications, Inc. and was created by Rumiko Takahashi.  
Sailor Moon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko and some other folks such as D.I.C. and Cloverway.  
This story is of my own derivation and is not intended for commercial purposes, so please don't sue me.

My thanks to Ben Oliver for proof reading and suggestions.

Author's Notes: For better consistency, I'm mostly working from the Japanese version of Sailor Moon. The inner senshi are the same age as Ranma from the different FAQ pages on SM I have visited, and that will be the assumption here. That could be off a year or so according to some folks, but I'm making it a given for this story. It takes place at the end of October while Ranma and the inner senshi are all (but Jupiter) age 16 and in the 10th grade; this is after Mugen Gakuen is destroyed, so all the Sailor Senshi except Mars are attending Juuban High. The senshi have not yet met the Sailor Stars, so are unfamiliar with anyone who changes gender. Mamoru has taken off for America and Chibi-Usa is back in the future. All this makes it before the Christmas Party in the Ranma series, and after Neherenia in Sailor Stars. No, Ranma isn't a Sailor Senshi or even from the Silver Millennium; there are too many stories like that. This is just a simple comedy mixing Ranma into Sailor Moon.

Wild Horses and Rabbits Don't Mix - Part 1

by Joe Fenton

Chapter 1: Deconstructing Relationships

Ranma and Genma walked away from the Nerima district; it had been made _quite_ clear that they were no longer welcome anywhere within its confines. Everything they owned was in the packs they carried.

"Dammit, boy! _All_ you had to do was marry one of the Tendo girls and we'd have been set! How in blazes could you screw up something so simple?!"

The pig-tailed martial artist gritted his teeth. "It wasn't my fault! How many times do I gotta tell ya?"

"Oh? And I suppose it wasn't your fault you destroyed the dojo?"

"_I_ didn't destroy it! Ryoga got carried away with his Shi Shi Hokodan. So how would that make it _my_ fault?"

"You should have put the boy down before it got that far! I really expected better of you; all my training - was it for nothing?"

Ranma rounded on his father. "All _your_ training? You ain't taught me nothin' since we got here! Besides, I'd have taken care of Ryoga if that uncute, sexless, stupid tomboy of fiancée that _you_ engaged me to hadn't gotten in the way!"

Genma grabbed the boy by the collar. "Well what did you expect her to do when you're tearing up their dojo?"

He pushed his father off abruptly. "I didn't ask for a fight! It ain't my fault if she's too stupid to figure out that P-chan is Ryoga. If she hadn't blabbed to that pig about our fight at dinner, Ryoga woulda never blown up like that!"

Genma fumed, then resumed walking. "Come on, boy. We've got to get out here before they change their minds and throw us in jail instead of simply running us off." He gave his son a withering stare. "Did you have to make such a _mess_?"

"Hey! Akane and Ryoga did most of the damage - the only damage _I_ did was the craters I made when Akane hit me with her mallet. Ryoga did most of the damage to the streets with his Bakusai Tenketsu, and _Akane_ was the one that collapsed that bridge!"

"She only did that when you were making out with that Chinese bimbo!"

Ranma glowed a bright blue. "I wasn't doin' nothin' of the sort!! _She_ glomped _me_, just like she _always_ does! Akane has _never_ bothered to hear my side a things!" He calmed down a bit. "Boy, I hope Uc-chan isn't too mad about what Mousse did to her place."

Genma gave him an incredulous look. "What place? After Mousse busted out the walls trying to get you away from Shampoo, it collapsed in on itself! Did you really think she'd just let that go?!"

Ranma rubbed the back of his head. "Well, it wasn't like that was _my_ fault. Why'd she haveta blame me?"

"Because Mousse was aiming at you, and you just dodged while he tore out the supports!"

The boy sighed. "Yeah, I guess I probably shoulda moved off or somethin'."

Genma rolled his eyes. "Not that it would have made a difference..."

"Hey! You aren't blamin' the school on me, are ya? Kuno did most a that when Ukyo, Mousse and Shampoo interrupted his Kendo tournament. And it ain't my fault Nabiki lost a lotta money 'cause a the default."

"What about the shopping district?"

Ranma tried to think about that one. "That was Happosai's fault - if Kuno, Ryoga and Akane hadn't trashed that lingerie shop, he'd a never tossed those Happo Daikarin."

"And whose idea was it to trap Happosai using the high-power lines at the sub-station?"

Ranma looked embarrassed. "Okay... maybe that wasn't such a good idea."

The two continued their walk in silence. Behind them, the night was broken by flames as fire-fighters raced to try to save what little remained of Nerima.

****

Ranma stretched and yawned. He still wasn't much of a morning person; if his pop didn't wake him at dawn, he'd sleep until noon. At least there wasn't any water near where they'd set up camp; he hated being wakened with a bucket of water, _especially_ after getting cursed.

He walked over to where his pop was digging through his pack. "Whatcha lookin' for, Pop?"

Genma didn't bother looking up. "I thought I had them in here somewhere... _ah_! Here we go." He glanced over at his son. "Boy, you'll thank me for making all those extra," he paused and raised his eyebrows suggestively, "arrangements, one day."

Uh-oh, Ranma thought, he didn't like the sound of that. "What arrangements would that be exactly?" He didn't really want to know.

Genma waved a sheaf of papers at him. "Why, the ticket to retirement, boy!" He started thumbing through the papers. "Let's see... Akita, Sapporo, Kushiro..." He considered the pros and cons of those locations a moment before finally shaking his head. "Nah, too cold this time of year."

Ranma started to sweat.

Genma continued, oblivious. "Shizuoka, Kofu, Kanazawa, Okayama... nah, too far away."

Ranma facefaulted. "Uhh, Pop, just _how_ many 'arrangements' have you made?!"

"Quiet, boy! I'm thinking. Tokyo - Nerima District." Genma crumpled that one up and tossed it over his shoulder. "Tokyo - Minato District... _yes_! That's the one." He held up the paper triumphantly. "Let's find a phone, boy! I'll - _we'll_ be back in comfortable living in no time."

Ranma watched his father move off toward a bank of public phones. "I don't wanna know - I don't _even_ wanna know."

****

Tsukino Kenji glanced over at the TV; a report was running about some sort of disaster in another part of Tokyo, the caption reading 'Crisis in Nerima.' He snorted. Yeah, right. Like they had demons and droids and the other assorted weirdos that Juban had to put up with. Things had started to finally quiet down; maybe now a fire or two and a few destroyed buildings would seem like a crisis again. He rubbed his temples as he turned back toward the crisis right in his own home.

Usagi paced around the room, waving her arms around in a full-blown tantrum. "Why?! You can't control my life! I'll love anyone I want! You can't _do_ this to me - you've never even _met_ Mamoru! You'd see he's sweet, and kind, and, and..."

"And too old!" He faced off with his daughter. Why couldn't she see? He just wanted what was best for her. "You don't know what men his age are like, what they want..." He shuddered, remembering the guys in his college. "There is _no way_ I'm allowing my little girl to date some college student." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "You need to be with someone your own age - someone you can relate to and who can relate to you." And who doesn't have his own apartment, he thought to himself. He was lucky he'd found out about this Mamoru character while he was out of the country. It would be much easier to handle with his daughter unable to run off to this boy.

Usagi burst into tears and fled up the stairs to her room. Kenji sighed. It was so hard dealing with a sixteen year-old girl. Maybe he should try talking with one of her friends.

The phone rang; he walked over and picked up the receiver. "Moshi, moshi. Who? Yes, this is Tsukino Kenji. What? Saotome Genma? I'm sorry, but I don't... um, are you sure? Hm, yes - I vaguely remember that, but it's been almost ten years. What? Your son? I'm sorry but... hmmm... come to think of it, maybe that isn't such a bad idea. Let's get together and discuss this. Let me give you directions." After a few more moments on the phone, Kenji hung up and looked up the stairs thoughtfully. "This might just work out for the best."

Chapter 2: Mutually Assured Destruction

Ranma and Genma walked through the streets of Azabu Juban; Ranma had his pack slung over one shoulder.

"You _know_ they'll just throw us out the moment they find out about our curses."

Genma gave him a long look. "The Tendos didn't, and you will do your best to ensure they don't find out for as long as possible!" He turned on his son. "I'm serious! I'll have your word that you will do nothing to give away our curses."

Ranma just smirked. He knew how long it would be before something beyond their control happened. "Sure, Pop. You got it. I won't do nothin'." As usual, he added to himself. Kami-sama knows he didn't do one tenth the stuff he got blamed for. He glanced at the sky; the weather was clear. Now if they could just avoid any other sources of water, they might actually show up in uncursed form. He snorted. Yeah, right. When were they ever that lucky?

****

Kenji stuck his head in the kitchen. "Honey?"

"Yes?"

He climbed the stairs to the kids rooms. "Shingo?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

He knocked on Usagi's door. "Usagi? Please come down to the living room. We have something to discuss." He waited for some acknowledgement.

Kenji and Ikuko sat on one side of the table; across from them sat their children, Shingo and Usagi.

"_Fiancé_?!" Usagi went ballistic. "You can't possibly think I'm going to marry some - some - _boy_ I've never even met before! I love Mamoru! If you can't deal with that, it's not my problem!"

Ikuko was torn. She didn't like the idea of her little girl being so involved with an older man, but this was hardly the solution. "Dear, you don't really expect Usagi to marry this boy, do you?"

"Of course not! She's too young. That is why this is the best thing to do. The boy and his father are coming over; they will stay with us while the two get to know each other. If they don't get along, I'm sure we can break the arrangement." He looked over at the evil grin growing on Usagi's face. "And _you_ will be on your _best_ behavior! If I think you are deliberately sabotaging this arrangement, I may just change my mind about allowing the two of you to decide whether or not to continue it." He smiled as her look changed to chagrin. "Now, Ranma is in your grade, so you can start by helping him at school tomorrow. He'll be attending Juuban High while staying with us."

Shingo had sported a wide smile since the announcement of Usagi's engagement. He saw a lot of potential ammo in this; sure, he loved his sister, but this was too good an opportunity to waste. "So what's Ranma like, Dad?"

Kenji thought quickly back over his short conversation with Genma. "Um... he's a martial artist; he and his father recently came back from a training trip to China." He struggled to think of more, but that was enough for Shingo.

"Martial artist? China?" He jumped up with a wide smile. He jumped into an imitation of a basic stance. "Wow! He must have been studying Kung Fu." He glanced over at his dad. "Do you think he'll give me lessons?"

Kenji smiled as his youngest continued to prattle on. This nicely covered the fact that he knew almost nothing about the boy. Hopefully, the questions wouldn't get too probing before they arrived.

****

Ranma was getting jumpy; they'd almost reached their destination and nothing had happened yet. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop - he hadn't been splashed, no rain falling from a clear sky, no ninja attacks, no _nothing_! It was almost like... like they were going to make a _good_ first impression! His hair stood on end; this was worse by far. A good first impression would likely keep them around longer than Ranma wanted. Why couldn't Pop just let it go and head home? He was _sure_ Mom wouldn't make them honor that pledge - well, _almost_ sure.

Genma stopped before a fairly large home and rang the bell. Ranma sighed as he considered the place; trust his pop to pick the ones with money. He wondered what a two story house in Juban like this one ran. He hung back as his dad talked with the man who answered the door. He set his pack down just inside the door and followed the pair into the living room, then leapt away from a flying boot, doing a complete flip in the air; he landed in a defensive stance, squared off against - he blinked - a thirteen year-old boy.

"I knew it!" The boy was ecstatic. "That was _so_ cool! Can you teach me that?"

Ranma relaxed and rubbed the back of his head. "Sure kid; nice throw." He laughed lightly. "And who are you?"

Shingo bowed. "Tsukino Shingo. Glad to meet you."

Ranma bowed back. "Saotome Ranma. Same back atcha."

Shingo gestured to his sister seated at the table. "This is my sister, Usagi."

Ranma nearly jumped at the look he received. He knew that look by heart, having been on the receiving end all too often in the last few months.

Shingo continued on with a big smile. "But we all call her 'Dumpling Head.' I'm sure you two will get along juuuuuuust fine. Heh." He winked.

Usagi turned red, clenched her hands into fists, and the sound of grinding teeth was heard. Ranma flinched at the look she gave her brother. It was _the look_; he was glad it wasn't directed at him for once.

He left the squabbling pair as his pop waved him over.

"Ranma, these are Usagi's parents, Kenji and Ikuko." Ranma bowed to the adults. Genma continued. "This my son and heir to the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling, Ranma."

Kenji gave Ranma a good-natured slap on the back. "Glad to finally meet you, my boy. But tell me, what do you think of this engagement?"

Ranma glanced at his pop's frantic face, then carefully replied. "I think it's a mistake, tryin' to decide two people's lives; especially on somethin' this important. But while I'm here, I'll try not to cause any trouble and see what happens." Another glance at Genma showed a little relief in his appearance.

Kenji gave Ranma a wide smile. "I like your honesty; that was very well put. We don't intend to force the two of you to marry -" Genma pointedly looked away. "- but I'd really appreciate it if you'd keep an open mind. You two still have years before you need to make a decision of such importance."

Ikuko finally broke into the conversation. "In the meantime, we hope you and Usagi can at least become friends. I don't think she has any male friends her _own_ age, and we think she's missing something important by not making any."

Ranma caught the emphasis in her words and thought it over. It seemed the Tsukinos had an ulterior motive of their own. He'd have to find a bit more from Shingo about this male friend who _wasn't_ Usagi's age. Maybe it wouldn't be necessary for him to do anything to get out of the engagement.

****

Ranma and Usagi walked along the street, darting angry looks back and forth. Their parents decided Ranma needed a small tour of the area and chose Usagi to lead it. Usagi fervently prayed they didn't run across anyone that knew her; Ranma fervently prayed they didn't run into any cold water. So far, both prayers seemed to have been answered.

Usagi gave another glare as she caught him looking at her. "I'm not marrying you. I already _have_ a boyfriend."

"So I gathered from your folks. Sounds like they don't approve." He gave a sideways glance, hands laced behind his head. "So when do I meet 'Mister Right?'"

"He's away at college right now." She added in a lower voice, "Like I'd introduce you anyway."

He gave her another glance. "It's all right; I wouldn't beat him up or nothin'. I'm not marrying you, either, so it's not like I'd be jealous."

She swung to face him. "You couldn't beat my Mamoru if you tried! He'd kick your sorry butt all the way back to China!" She noticed his smile and saw he was only teasing, then realized what he had tricked her into revealing. "Ohhhhhh, you!"

He laughed at her embarrassment. It was almost nice being with someone who didn't automatically attack him for pulling such a stunt. "I'm glad you've found someone who means that much to you. In the meantime, I'd like to be friends; come on, let's get some ice cream." He saw the indecision war with temptation on her face and smiled wider. "My treat." That did the trick.

Ranma toyed with his own ice cream as he watched Usagi destroy another parfait. He saw her embarrassed look, then laughed. "Don't worry, I eat ice cream the same way when I'm in... uh... when I'm really hungry." He hoped he covered that slip well enough. Usagi seemed not to notice as she started on a sundae; Ranma watched, wondering if that was how his female side appeared to others.

****

Ranma and Usagi walked through the park, headed back to her home. It was near evening and they needed to get back before dinner. They had stopped for cold drinks at a yatai, and sipped at them while talking about their lives; well, the parts they could tell each other actually.

"So I wound up waitin' for three days for my friend to show up for our fight in the vacant lot right behind his house."

Usagi laughed. "It took him three days to find the lot behind his house?"

"No, it actually took him _four_ days. By that time, Pop and I had left for China." Ranma smiled at that memory. Funny how things seemed better over time. "He got so mad that I 'chickened out' of our match that he followed me to China."

Usagi whirled around, facing him while she continued to walk backwards. "You're kidding, right? Who'd do that over a stupid fight?"

"You don't know Ryoga - the fight was over bread, remember? Skipping out on that fight was _much_ worse than what the fight was over to begin with, as far as he was concerned." He noticed a large rock behind Usagi. "Um, Usagi? Maybe you should -"

Usagi failed to notice the rock while walking backwards and started to go down hard. Ranma was there before she got halfway to the ground, holding her gently. She was completely shocked, not just by the near fall, but by how fast he reacted. "Wow! That was really -" She broke off as she realized she was being held by someone other than Mamoru.

"You _jerk_!! What in blazes do you think you're doing?!"

Ranma was baffled: he had managed to catch her before she hit the ground; neither of them had spilled their drink on the other; he hadn't grabbed her by any - inappropriate - part to catch her. He had no idea why she was angry. "Whatta you mean?"

Usagi let out a bellow. "Let - GO!!"

"If you insist." He released her suddenly and she fell on her rear. Personally, he felt she should have asked him to help her up, but...

Usagi stood up, brushed her skirt with her free hand, then got right in his face. "How _dare_ you treat me like that!" She threw what remained of her drink in his face.

"Dammit! What'd you do that for?!" Ranma wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt. Then she realized what had happened. "Um... Usagi?"

Usagi was staring with saucer size eyes. The taller, black-haired boy she had thrown her drink on had been replaced with a much shorter, red-haired girl. The girl was very pretty, and the final insult as far as Usagi was concerned was her much larger bust size. Usagi had always been self-conscious about her smaller chest, and the fact that this - being - was larger than her only infuriated her more. There was only one thing this being could be. "A shape-shifter!" she whispered urgently. She gasped and her eyes went wide. "You're gonna try to take my heart crystal or drain my energy or something!" Her expression suddenly grew unusually focused. She knew how to deal with things like this.

Ranma heard the whisper, then Usagi laid a hand on the broach she wore and cried, "Moon Eternal, Make Up!"

Ranma watched, transfixed as Usagi was enveloped in light. Her normal clothes were replaced with a stylized fuku with an extremely short skirt and what seemed to be silk wings. Some jewelry now adorned the odangos in her hair. She struck a pose as the light faded.

"How dare you try to deceive my family! An engagement is a bond of trust that you have tried to take advantage of. For love and justice, I am the Pretty Sailor-Suited Soldier Sailor Moon! In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"

Ranma dropped her drink, and fell over laughing.

Sailor Moon dropped her pose, looking indignant. "Hey! You're not supposed to laugh! You bad guys always spout some kind of nonsense like 'So, Sailor Moon. You'll not stand in our way this time; I'm going to take you out like the trash.'"

Ranma rolled onto her stomach, started kicking her legs, and laughed even louder, pounding a fist into the ground.

"Hey! Quit laughing! I'm serious!" She started turning a bright red. "Ooohhhhh!"

Sailor Moon lashed out with a low kick, trying to catch the girl on the ground. Ranma rolled away from the kick and leapt up and away from the next kick Sailor Moon attempted. Several punches and kicks similarly failed to catch her. Ranma would have to be careful; while completely unskilled, Sailor Moon had a speed and strength she couldn't hope to match due to the girl's magical enhancement. Ranma had always wondered how she'd fare against a magical opponent, now was her chance. She almost missed an approaching punch which passed just millimeters in front of her face.

The red-head smiled. "Close! But not good enough." She smirked. Maybe she could get Sailor Moon mad enough to totally lose it like Ryoga. "You know, maybe you shouldn't use high kicks... not with a short little skirt like that."

Sailor Moon was livid. Burning anger and her inability to connect with the dodging girl got to her. She gestured with a gloved hand; the Eternal Tier appeared in her hand and she held it high.

Ranma stifled her laughter as beams of light shot forth; that probably hadn't been a good idea. "Hey! Watch it! You could hurt someone!"

Sailor Moon fired several blasts at the rapidly dodging girl. "Hold still! How am I supposed to blast you if you _won't_ - _stand_ - _still_?!"

Ranma kept dodging; she had no idea what those beams of light would do to her, but she wasn't going to let one hit her to find out. She also couldn't spare the attention to see what effect it had on what it _did_ hit. "Would you stop?! USSSAAAGGGIIII!!!"

She stopped blasting and looked around frantically. "Shhhhh! You want someone to hear you? You'll blow my secret identity!"

Ranma finally stood still and looked her right in the eye. "You're kiddin', right? How could anyone _not_ recognize ya? 'Specially with that hair." She almost started laughing again.

Sailor Moon gestured to herself with the wand. "It comes with a disguise field to prevent recognition, but it doesn't work if someone sees the transformation, or someone goes around _screaming_ out my name! So stop it!"

"Yeah, right. Whatever. Just stop with the death rays, huh? Gimme a chance to explain this."

She crossed her arms and struck an impatient pose. "Okay, let's hear it."

Ranma gestured at the Senshi. "Um, maybe you should, you know, change back? You kinda stick out like a sore thumb. Someone might come by and wonder what's up."

Sailor Moon stood her ground. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Wait for me to change, then BLAM! Well it isn't going to happen, Mister! Er, Ma'am?" She looked flustered a moment. "Well, whatever you are."

That got the standard reaction from Ranma. "I'm a _guy_, dammit!"

Sailor Moon looked puzzled. "Are you sure? I know I'm not the smartest student in school, but I seem to remember -"

Ranma cut her off. "My _body_ is currently female, but I'm still a guy. It's a curse I got in China."

Sailor Moon hmphed. "Yeah, right."

Ranma gave her the evil eye. "_You_ don't believe in magic or curses? I suppose that's just a costume and a fancy tazer?"

Sailor Moon had the decency to look embarrassed. "Ooookay. Suppose we go find someplace more public where we can keep an eye on each other and talk?"

"Fine!" Ranma spun on her heal and headed back towards a more populated part of the park. Sailor Moon watched her for a second, detransformed, then followed her.

Ranma walked up to a vendor selling ramen out of a yatai and put on her cute act. "Could I possibly get some hot water? Pleeeease?" The guy running the stand turned to butter when she started batting her eyelids.

"S-s-sure. Here." He poured some hot water from a kettle into a cup and handed it to the red-head. She smiled sweetly and walked off. He watched dazed for a moment, then waited on a customer.

Usagi saw the girl stop at a water fountain. "All right, out with it!"

Ranma poured about half the hot water over her head. Usagi stared as the girl changed back into the boy she had spent the afternoon showing around Juban. He explained what happened to him and his father at Jusenkyo.

" - so, if I get splashed with cold water, I change into a girl." He used some water from the water fountain to change once more. "And to change back, I need hot water." She poured the rest of the hot water over her head. Usagi wasn't quite as shocked at the transformation by this time.

Usagi glared at him a moment. "Okay, so maybe you're not a monster or youma or what-not. But there is no way I'm going to be engaged to someone who changes sex when splashed with water!" She poked a finger in his chest. "We are going right to my parents and straighten this out right now!"

Ranma looked thoughtful. "I guess you're right. We'll tell 'em how I changed into a girl when you threw your drink on me..."

Usagi nodded. "Yes."

"And then how you changed into Sailor Moon and attacked me..."

Usagi nodded again. "Yes -" She turned white and started shaking her head. "I mean, _no_! You can't tell them that!"

Ranma smiled slyly. "What, Usagi? Is there something you wanna keep secret from your parents?"

She glared at him. "I thought you didn't want this engagement."

He sighed. "I don't! But I promised Pop I wouldn't use the curse to deliberately end it. If your folks find out about it like _you_ did, by _accident_, and wish to end it, that's different." He noticed Usagi's grin. "And if you're thinkin' about splashing me in front of your folks, that might end the engagement, but think what your folks will do after they figure out you did it on purpose to end the engagement." He saw her hesitate and pounded the nail home. "I got the impression your folks did this to try to break up you and your Mamoru. If you break our engagement, whatta you think they'll do next?"

Usagi stood shaking a minute. "I can't believe I'm engaged to some sex-changing, macho _jerk_ who knows my secret identity, and can't do _anything_ about it."

Ranma nodded in sympathy. "Yeah, I know, but you get used to it after awhile."

She looked at him strangely. "What do you mean?"

He looked away, laced his hands behind his head, and started walking again. "Now that we're past the 'keeping a big secret' stage, I can tell you a little more about my life."

****

As both families sat around the table that evening, a strange kind of battle took place. Ranma and Genma started sparring over food on each others plates with their chopsticks while eating at a pace to rival Usagi. Shingo watched in awe.

"Whoa! I've never seen _anyone_ who could match Usagi at dinner, much less fight for the food at the same time." He looked suitably impressed.

Usagi took offense at this and decided to try the same thing with Shingo. The boy lost almost half his dinner before Ikuko put an end to the first, and last, food battle at the Tsukino table.

The battle settled into silent looks. Genma would glare at Ranma; Ranma would glare back, then glance at Usagi in sympathy. Usagi would look back sadly, then give Genma a furious stare. Shingo would glare at Usagi, look in awe at Ranma, then in confusion at Genma. Ikuko _almost_ asked what on earth was wrong with everyone, but let it pass. It was probably just the strangeness of the situation; it would settle eventually.

After dinner, Ranma and Genma moved their things into the attic room Usagi's 'cousin' used when she visited. Ranma wanted to get settled in; tomorrow was his first day in a new school. He just hoped things went better than in Furinkan.

****

Usagi turned back the covers of her bed. After the day she had just been put through, she was looking forward to some solid sleep. A small black cat jumped onto the bed. She brushed the cat off idly as she climbed into bed.

"Not now, Luna. I _gotta_ get some sleep." She yawned widely.

"But Usagi, who are those two men? And why are they staying here?"

"That's just my fiancé, Ranma, and his father."

"_Fiancé_?!!" Luna jumped back onto the bed and got right in Usagi's face. "But Usagi! What about Mamoru?! What about destiny?!"

Usagi dragged the covers over her head. "Our dads arranged it. Don't worry, Ranma doesn't want to marry me any more than I want to marry him." She rolled over, tossing the cat from the bed. "Tomorrow after school, we can all get together and figure some way out of this mess."

Luna looked at the sleeping girl a moment, snorted, then jumped up onto the foot of the bed to get some sleep as well. She'd keep a close eye on this 'Ranma' tomorrow. There was no way she was letting some boy jeopardize Crystal Tokyo.

Chapter 3: The New Kids On The Block

Usagi yawned as she stumbled downstairs for breakfast.

Ikuko noticed her sleepy daughter and shook her head. "You're running late again. You need to get up earlier if you want to get to school on time."

Usagi looked around. "Where's Ranma?"

"He and his father went down to the park to spar. They should be back any time now." She set three bentos on the table. "When he comes in, be sure he gets his lunch. You'll both have to hurry if you don't want to be late." She went back into the kitchen.

Just at that moment, the front door opened and Shingo, Ranma, and Genma entered. Genma berating his son.

"You're getting sloppy, boy. We'll have to work out an extra hour later today."

Ranma muttered under his breath. "Still better than you, old man. At least there was no koi pond to fall into."

Shingo was jumping excitedly. "You should have seen them, Sis! They were jumping around, and kicking, and punching,..." He continued on with a description of the sparring practice, giving little demonstrations of how each part went.

She glared at her brother. "Why haven't you left for school yet?"

"I had to watch Ranma! It was great! He showed me a few things, too. I'm going to be a martial artist, just like him." He jumped around a bit more, then grabbed his book bag and a bento. "Come on, I'll make sure Dumpling Head doesn't get you lost."

"Don't call me Dumpling Head!!!" She tossed a bento to Ranma, who caught it one handed. She grabbed the other bento and her book bag, then dashed for the door. Ranma grabbed his own book bag, figuring all schools used similar materials, then dashed off behind the siblings.

The siblings glanced up at the boy racing on the top of the fence, Shingo in awe, and Usagi in irritation.

She finally had to ask. "Why are you running on top of the fence?"

"Balance practice. Pop always taught me to make _everything_ into practice."

Shingo spoke up. "How long would it take for me to be able to do that?"

"Not too long. A few more basic lessons and you'll be ready to work on it."

The three raced along in silence for awhile, Ranma because he saw no need for conversation, and Shingo and Usagi because they needed the air for running. They were almost to the high school when Usagi barreled around a corner, running into another girl with long, flowing, blond hair.

Ranma jumped from the fence and caught the other girl before she landed on the concrete sidewalk. He helped her to her feet.

She stood in shock for a moment, just holding the boy. She gave him a warm smile. "Thank you. That would have been a nasty tumble."

Ranma blushed and looked down. "No problem. Happy to help." He was glad she hadn't gotten mad like Usagi did the previous day. Speaking of Usagi - he looked over where the girl was getting up off the sidewalk, rubbing her rear.

"That hurt! Why didn't you catch me, you idiot?" She glared at Ranma.

He gave her a big smile. "But Usagi, yesterday you got all upset when I did."

"That was yesterday!"

The girl looked back and forth between the two. "Usagi? Would you like to introduce your handsome friend?"

Usagi glared at the girl. "No, I wouldn't!" The other blinked at the response.

Time for a little fun, Shingo thought. He'd been waiting for just this moment. "Ranma, this is a friend of Usagi's, Aino Minako. She'll be in your class too." He turned to Minako. "This is Saotome Ranma, Usagi's fiancé." He smirked as Usagi turned red and Minako rounded on her.

"_Fiancé_?! But Usagi, what about Mamoru?!"

Usagi turned to give Shingo a piece of her mind, but he had already fled laughing for the junior high. She sighed and turned to Minako. "My parents set it up because they don't approve of Mamoru. I didn't have anything to do with it, and I am certainly _not_ going to marry this jerk!"

Minako listened intently, then gave Ranma a look that made him nervous. "Oh? Then he's available, is he?"

Ranma sweated as Usagi nodded her head. "H-h-hey! I think we need to hurry. We're gonna be late if we don't run." He'd be running right now, but he had no idea where the school was.

That got Usagi going. "On no! I can't be late again!" She took off running.

Minako laughed. "Just follow Dumpling Head." She took off after Usagi with Ranma bringing up the rear, groaning about fiancées.

****

Ranma stood at the front of the class as the teacher got their attention.

"Class, I'd like you to welcome a new student." She turned to Ranma. "Please introduce yourself."

He looked across the class. The girls were giving him longing stares, and the boys angry glares, for the effect he was having on their girlfriends - pretty much par for the course. He sighed. "I'm Saotome Ranma; I'm a martial artist and heir to the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling. I have recently returned from a training trip to China." Simple enough, even if not _entirely_ accurate.

"Thank you, Ranma. I suppose you may not know this, having just come back from China, but here at Juuban High, we have a strict dress code. You will get a proper boy's uniform." She looked at Usagi and Minako. "You three were also late; please stand in the hall."

So, Ranma found himself standing in the hall. That wasn't so unusual for him. He looked at the signs the three were wearing. 'Late to class.' It was certainly not as bad as holding buckets of water; not that holding buckets of water was any big deal to him. Pop's exercises made holding buckets of water easy by comparison. He sighed as he thought of all the times he and Akane stood in the hall by their class in Furinkan. He wondered how long the fiancées would stay mad before finally deciding to track him down again. He shuddered as he thought of the Kunos; hopefully they'd forget about him. Suddenly, he brightened. Hey! No fiancées! At least for awhile. He decided to try to enjoy what little time he had before the insanity caught up with him.

Usagi glared at the happy boy beside her. "Hey! What are you so happy about? _You_ got us into this trouble!"

Oh yeah, one fiancée. "And exactly how is this _my_ fault?" Just _once_ he'd like to have it be someone else's fault.

Minako looked at Usagi questioningly. "Yes, exactly how _is_ it his fault, Dumpling Head?" Ranma blinked; did someone just stand up for him?

"Don't call me Dumpling Head!!!" Usagi covered her mouth quickly and glanced around, hoping a teacher hadn't heard her yelling. She hissed angrily. "It's his fault because if he hadn't been with us, we would have just gotten up and ran to class." She nodded triumphantly.

Minako rolled her eyes. She gave Ranma a smile with wide, shining eyes. "So, if you and Usagi aren't really engaged, how about dinner tonight?"

Ranma blushed. It wasn't that he didn't like such attention, it was just that after ten years on the road with just his pop, he had absolutely no idea how to deal with it. "Uhhh...." That was certainly an intelligent way to answer. He shook his head to clear it. "We still need to keep up appearances around our folks 'til we can figure a way to break the engagement that doesn't get Pop and I run outta town." A quick glance at Usagi prompted him to continue. "And doesn't cause Usagi and her family too much trouble." Whew - that was better than he normally did.

Minako frowned briefly, then brightened and took his arm. "Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something."

Usagi glared at her friend, then shook herself. Why was she getting jealous? She turned her glare to the real villain in this drama. "What do you think you're doing? This is a school, not a social club, Ranma."

Ranma was trying to remove Minako from his arm. She's almost as bad as Shampoo, he thought, then turned to Usagi. "Whatta you mean? I ain't doing nothing'."

"_Nothing_?! You're hanging all over _her_ and you're supposed to be _my_ fiancé!!!"

Now, her previous yell _had_ been heard by the class; it was just so common that everyone, including teachers, naturally tuned it out - it was much the same principle as living next to an airport. Usagi's last yell was the same volume, but carried much further due to the content; every class window on the floor opened as students crowded to look at the group.

Most of the girls comments fell along these lines.

"Fiancé?"

"They're engaged?"

"Awww, how'd Usagi get such a hunk?"

"I thought she was seeing someone?"

Most of the guy's comments fell along these lines.

"Geez, with his build, he coulda done _much_ better."

"1000 yen says Usagi loses him to Minako before the weekend."

"He ain't _that_ good lookin'."

"I thought she was hooked up with some college guy?"

The three stood in mortification at their classmate's comments. The teacher finally walked into the hall.

"You three - the principal's office - _now_! The rest of you - _back to class_!"

****

Usagi glared at Ranma. "I can't believe you got me a detention!"

He glared right back. "_I_ got you a detention?! _You_ were the one yellin' in the hall! Besides, I also got an extra day for not havin' a proper uniform." He swore at the injustice of it all.

They caught the attention of a custodian mopping the floor. "You kids, watch your step - I just mopped here." Ah! Young love! He remembered when he and his wife were their age. He paused to watch them as they passed by on their way back to class.

Minako took Ranma's arm again. "Don't worry Ranma honey, I'll wait for you after school. We can go out and forget all about mean-old Dumpling Head." She stuck her tongue out at Usagi.

Usagi rounded on her friend. "Don't call me Dumpling Head!!!" She kicked at the mop bucket in anger.

Minako dodged as the bucket flew toward the pair. Unfortunately for Ranma, she didn't let go of his arm; he wound up being dragged into the path of the bucket - and the dirty water it contained.

Usagi pouted at Ranma. "_Now_ look what you made me do!" She looked around. "You'd better get some hot water before we get in more trouble."

Minako was staring, horrified. "Urk..."

Ranma sighed and starting ringing out her pig-tail. "Why do these things always happen to me?"

Minako was still in shock. "Urk..."

Ranma turned to head to one of the bathrooms when a teacher stepped out of a nearby class to determine what was happening outside her class. She took one look at Ranma and stepped in front of the girl.

"Why aren't you in a proper uniform?" Before Ranma could rely, she continued. "That is inappropriate dress, even for outside class." She commented on Ranma's lack of a - supportive - undergarment. "The boys are bad enough around here without girls like _you_." She narrowed her eyes. "Principal's office - now!" She turned to Usagi and Minako. "You two - get to your class!"

Usagi dragged the unresponsive Minako off. Ranma opened her mouth to complain, then sighed and headed back the other way.

The custodian shook his head and started mopping the floor again. Ah! Young love! Of course, guys didn't turn into girls when he and his wife were their age.

****

Ranma sighed in relief as the lunch bell rang. It had to have been the longest morning ever... well, other than his first morning at Furinkan High... or the day after he was cursed... or the day after the neko-ken training... well, it was the longest morning that week. He grabbed his bento and headed outside; as he settled down under a tree, Usagi and Minako settled down next to him. He barely noticed as he dug into his lunch. The two girls watched him for awhile; Minako finally broke the silence.

"Wow! I haven't seen _anyone_ who could match Usagi at eating!"

Ranma didn't even pause - he'd heard it all before.

Two more girls wandered over and sat with them. One had long brown hair pulled into a pony-tail, and the other had shorter black hair; he noticed that she had a passing resemblance to Akane.

The black-haired girl spoke. "Usagi, are you two really engaged?"

Usagi paused, right on the edge of starting on her own lunch. "My folks arranged it with his because they don't approve of Mamoru." She looked despondent, but dug into her lunch with a gusto.

Ranma paused and looked at the girls. "Neither of us like it. We're not gonna get married; as soon as we can figure a way out that don't hurt no one, I'm outta here." He looked over at Usagi. "I can't believe you got me _another_ detention for not havin' a uniform."

Brown pony-tail spoke up. "Another? How can you get two detentions for the same offense?"

Minako joined the conversation. "He turned into a _girl_!" She was still a little rattled from this morning.

The black haired girl looked skeptical. "Come on, people just don't change sex." She looked at Minako closely. "You look pretty shook up; are you _sure_ about it?"

Minako glared at her in anger. "I know what I saw! She was so big -" She held her hands in front of her chest. "- she made Usagi look like a boy!"

Usagi had been nodded at Minako's story - until now. "HEY!! I'm not _that_ small!"

Ranma sighed. "Um, girls? Should we be talkin' about this?" He looked pointedly at the other girls.

Usagi noticed the glance and realized her lapse in manners. "Oh! Sorry." She pointed to brown pony-tail and the black haired girl. "These are two of my best friends, Makoto and Ami." The girls nodded at the introduction. Usagi continued. "If you really want the best plan for breaking off our engagement, Ami here is probably our best bet."

Ami blushed at the praise. "You two really don't want to be engaged?"

Ranma nodded and Usagi bristled.

"Of course I don't want to be engaged to this jerk! I got my Mamoru and nothing is going to stand in the way of our love!" Usagi was standing with an upraised fist while the other girls sighed. Ranma rolled his eyes. Girls, he thought.

Ami looked back at Ranma. "Did you really change into a girl?"

He looked around, then asked Usagi sarcastically. "Is there anyone else you wanna tell? I _really_ hate telling this story."

Usagi went quiet and thought for a moment. "Well..." Ranma sweat-dropped. "We should probably tell Rei too, but she doesn't go here. Oh! And we should probably tell Haruka and Michiru, but they're upper-classmen and it would look suspicious for them to be seen talking with us at lunch."

Ranma looked at his unwilling fiancée. "Maybe I should just write it down and have it printed in the paper."

Usagi frowned. "No. That'd probably be telling too many people we don't want knowing about this."

After everyone picked themselves up off the ground and finished glaring at Usagi, Ranma started his story.

"I'm a martial artist; my pop is trying to make me the best in the world, so we've been on the road trainin' for the last ten years or so. The idiot took us to one particular training ground in China. This place has more than a hundred springs, and when you fall in one, you take the shape of whatever drowned there when splashed with cold water. Hot water changes you back." He sighed; he really hated this part of the story. "Well, we started sparrin' before we knew what would happen; I knocked the old man in the 'Spring of Drowned Panda.' I was so shocked when this big panda came at me that I froze; he knocked me in the 'Spring of Drowned Girl.'"

The girls all looked shocked. Ami spoke for the group. "That must have been horrible!"

Ranma accepted the sympathy. "Yeah, pretty bad. But it coulda been worse. I know folks cursed to turn into pigs and ducks and c-c-c-c-cats." He almost didn't get that last one out. Ami looked a little puzzled at his stutter, but let it slide.

Makoto thought a moment. "So what do you when you want to go swimming?"

He turned red and looked at the ground. "I gotta one-piece that I'm told looks quite stunnin' on me." He waved his arms in a panic. "Not that I'm some kinda pervert or anythin'. Just gotta dress accordingly." He looked around; all the girls looked rather stunned. "Why do you think I hate tellin' this to people. It's bad enough havin' to swim inna girl's suit without havin' folks who know I ain't a girl." He was staring at the ground again, looking rather put out.

Ami reviewed the conversation and turned to Usagi. "You knew about this? When did you find out?"

"Last evening. I was showing Ranma around when I spilled a drink on him -" She noticed Ranma's glare. "- or something. He told me about it then."

Ranma muttered under his breath. "After you stopped tryin' to kill me."

Makoto leaned over. "What was that?"

Ranma tried to look innocent as Usagi glared at him. She thought quickly. "These are my best friends... they, uh, know my little secret." The girls looked at each other questioningly.

Ranma looked around, then back at Usagi. "Great secret identity, Dumplin' Head. Just how many folks have you told? I have enough trouble with folks wantin' a piece of me without havin' to worry about your enemies too." Usagi was really giving him the evil eye.

The other girls all looked nervous. Minako asked, "Really? You, uh, know _Usagi's_ little secret? How'd you find out?"

"Well, last night when she thr-" he noticed Usagi's face and changed his story a little. "- spilled her drink on me, she kinda freaked and transformed and tried to kill me."

The girls all looked shocked now.

Makoto turned to Usagi. "You tried to _kill_ him?"

Usagi sputtered then threw up her hands. "Well, when you spend the last two years fighting youma and demons and droids and aliens and evil revolutionaries from the future, you kind of get stuck in the 'shoot first, ask questions later' frame of mind. How was I to know it was just a simple curse? Besides, he _laughed_ at me!"

The others had the grace to look embarrassed.

Ranma looked around the little group. "So, now you know about me and have an idea why we'd just like to find some way to _quietly_ break off the engagement. Ain't no sense in drawing any attention to things that ain't no one else's business."

The girls all looked around at each other and nodded. Ami spoke up.

"Okay, Ranma. We understand; we'll see if we can think of something. Usagi is our friend, and we want her to be happy. Please try to keep her secret; I think you can imagine what would happen if that got around."

Ranma nodded. "You have my word of honor." He noticed the hesitance in some of their eyes. "Hey, if I can keep quiet about a pig sleeping with my fiancée, I can keep quiet about this." He looked at the startled look in their eyes and laughed. "No, not Usagi; and no, you _don't_ wanna know about it, even if I could tell you."

The rest of lunch passed in a strained silence.

Chapter 4: The Running Man

Ranma was walking on the fence-top again as he followed Usagi home. Usagi gave him another glare.

"Just remember, it's your fault we got detention. I'm not going to take any of the blame for getting home late."

Ranma sighed and continued walking. At least one thing was constant in his life; no matter what, it was always his fault.

He jumped to the ground a short distance from the house and followed Usagi in.

Ikuko looked into the living room from the kitchen. "You're late. I hope you didn't get into any trouble." She was looking specifically at Usagi.

The girl shook her head and pointed at Ranma. "It was his fault; he made us late and we got detention. Oh, and he also got another for not being in uniform." She smiled smugly and headed for her room.

Ikuko sighed and shook her head at her disappearing daughter. "Sorry about that, Ranma. I keep hoping she'll grow out of it." She smiled at him encouragingly. "Tell you what - after dinner, we'll go shopping for a school uniform. Maybe a couple casual items as well."

Ranma managed a smile. "Thanks, Mrs. Tsukino." He dragged himself up the stairs towards the attic room he and his pop shared. He wasn't looking forward to the shopping trip. If there was anything he hated more, it was school uniforms. It was bad enough that he had had to wear one his first year of high school at the all boys school he attended with Ryoga; his curse made it that much more difficult. Maybe he should get a thermos while they were shopping.

Ikuko watched the boy slowly move upstairs and smiled. He seemed nice enough; maybe this arrangement would work out after all. She was about to return to the kitchen as a blur flew down the stairs and out the door. The sound eventually caught up with the blur.

"CCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Usagi came down the stairs at a more sedate pace, carrying Luna. She looked at her mom. "What was that?"

Ikuko looked at her daughter and shook her head. "I think it was Ranma. I guess he wanted to get some exercise before dinner." She went back into the kitchen.

Usagi walked over to the front door, looked both ways, then shut it with a shrug. She didn't have much time before she had to meet with the other senshi at the temple.

****

Ranma slowed eventually as his mind finally digested the fact that he was not actually being chased by the cat. He slowed to a stop and lowered his head. He hated this fear - almost as bad as he hated his curse. _Damn_ the old man! He'd have to give him an extra pounding this evening to take the edge off his anxiety. He slowed his breathing and took a look around. He recognized the area from his little tour the other evening; good, he wouldn't need to ask for directions back. He started back a bit more cheerfully - until he rounded the first corner.

Minako was on her way to her study group with the other senshi at Rei's grandfather's temple. Unfortunately for Ranma, she was also carrying Artemis. She barely had time to recognize Ranma and call out a greeting before he disappeared. She couldn't believe how fast he moved. He was out of sight almost before she figured out he was moving, the sound dying as he moved away.

"CCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She stared after him for a minute, then continued on her way.

****

Ranma was seriously considering simply leaving; leaving his pop, leaving the Tsukinos, leaving Juban. There were entirely too many c-c-c-c-c... _those_ things for his well-being. It seemed that every time he finally got control back and stopped, there was another one. He was totally lost at this point. He hated having to ask for directions; it made him feel too much like Ryoga. He sighed and climbed the last few steps to the temple. He could probably get directions from one of the priests, and they wouldn't make him feel so stupid. He knocked on the door and waited.

The door opened and Ranma opened his mouth. There stood both Minako and Usagi, both holding -

"CCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

They watched Ranma as he quickly disappeared from view.

Minako looked awed. "Wow! He sure can _run_!"

Usagi glanced, puzzled, between Ranma's departing smoke cloud and the two cats. "What was that about?"

Minako shrugged and closed the door. The two girls walked back to Rei's room.

Rei looked up from her book as her friends came back in. "Who was that?"

Usagi spoke up. "Ranma. I was going to ask him to come in so you could meet him, but I guess he had to go."

Ami rolled her eyes. She had seen Ranma streak off from her place near the window; she had heard the cry as he ran; she had heard his stutter at lunch. She had all the clues she needed; she would need to talk with him privately later. She was certain this was something he would not discuss openly, but they would need to know about for Usagi's sake. In the meantime, she'd speak with Usagi about Luna until she could verify her hypothesis.

****

Ranma sat next to the table, twitching at every little noise as he ate dinner. Ikuko looked at him in concern.

"Are you okay, Ranma? You seem a little nervous."

He replied with almost too much animation. "I'm fine! Really... no problems here! Yep!" He jumped as he thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

Usagi was watching curiously; she had left Luna in her room, as Ami suggested. If what her friend had said was true, she had a weapon in her conflict with her ersatz fiancé. She smiled.

Shingo watched Ranma anxiously. Something was wrong; whatever it was, it must be really bad. After what he'd seen in Ranma's workouts, if it could spook Ranma this badly, it would have to be truly horrendous.

Genma looked at Ranma in worry. Damn the boy! He better not spoil this. He obviously needed more time sparring.

Kenji tried not to look at anyone. Nope! There was absolutely nothing going on here. Just a quiet dinner.

****

Ikuko and Ranma stood in front of a rack of dress shirts like the kind he needed for his school uniform. He sighed as Ikuko pulled out a few different sizes for him to try. He was already holding a couple pair of dress slacks that had taken them almost half an hour to find.

Off to the side, Usagi held up a frilly dress. "Hey Ranma! What do you think of this?" She smiled evilly.

Ranma winced and looked away. Ikuko looked over at her daughter.

"That's nice dear, but you already have enough dresses."

Usagi smiled wider and put the dress back. She moved towards another rack of women's clothing. She had been teasing Ranma all evening and was in a very good mood. Her mom was right! This was a lot of fun! She looked at a rack of brassieres. She would definitely have to get Ranma's opinion on a couple of them.

Ranma moved off toward the dressing rooms, only to be intercepted by Usagi.

Ikuko looked to where her daughter was asking Ranma about a brassiere. She shook her head. She had no idea Usagi would take such a liking to the boy - now she was even discussing lingerie with him. She smiled at how embarrassed the boy was; he looked ready to bolt. She sighed and decided she would give Usagi _that_ talk again later this evening. Better safe than sorry.

****

Usagi sat on her bed; she didn't think anyone could actually die of embarrassment, but she felt she was close. Shivers ran down her spine as she remembered the conversation she just had with her mother. It was enough to make her gag.

"I can't believe Mom gave me _that_ talk." All the fun she had had at Ranma's expense had backfired on her.

Luna walked across the bed. "Well, you should have thought about how your mom would have perceived the way you were interacting with Ranma. After all, she is not aware of his curse. You were asking him about girls clothing, and you were the only girl there that she was aware of."

Usagi fell on her back and covered her face. "AAAAHHHHH! I just want to die... I've never been so embarrassed. She actually thought I would want to do - _that_ - with _him_!"

Luna just smiled. Maybe this would teach Usagi the importance of examining her actions from every point of view before committing herself.

In the attic, Ranma was putting away the clothes they had purchased. He shuddered again in horror at the memories; how could girls find something like that - _enjoyable_? Add Usagi's blatant teasing to the whole experience and it was the perfect end to the worst day in his life. He frowned; well, the worst day that week.

And so ends Part 1 of Wild Horses and Rabbits Don't Mix. Will the Tsukinos learn of Ranma and Genma's curses? It's only been a day and a half, after all. Will the fiancées show up? They were pissed, but this is Ranma we're talking about. Will Ranma learn about the other Sailor Senshi? Will the Sailor Senshi learn Ranma's weak spot? Will Ranma dress up in a stupid disguise that fools almost no one? All this and more in Part 2.

More Author's Notes: I know that the NA sub of SM uses 'Meatball Head', but the proper translation is 'Dumpling Head'. I guess the idiots at D.I.C./Cloverway thought Americans didn't know what dumplings are; I think most of us do, so I'll stick with the proper translation. In case you are wondering, Eternal Sailor Moon has an attack that has no name which she uses a few times while battling Neherenia's shard-demons and mirror parodies. She just holds up the moon rod and beams of light shoot out; that is what she uses against Ranma in their fight in the park. Azabu-Juban is one of the three major towns in the Minato District of Tokyo, for folks who wondered about the reference to it in chapter one. I write the schools as Juuban because they are _not_ named after the town; like many American cities, the schools are numbered, and Juuban simply means 'number ten'. Yes, Dumpling Head only cried once during the story; the fact of the matter is, I've seen quite a few SM episodes (making the Japanese warding signs) and Usagi can go quite some time without bursting into tears. I think many ff writers overdo it with Usagi's tantrums, much like they overdo Ryoga's (lack of) sense of direction. Ranma and Genma did get kicked out of both the Tendos and Nerima, but is it permanent? Many folks are very very _very_ pissed right now, but they may or may not forgive them; that will be part of the story. Mamoru is off to America right now (part of the Anime, not the Manga), and may or may not be involved in the story. I haven't decided yet. Chibi-Usa is back home (Crystal Tokyo) and may or may not visit; I haven't decided that yet either. Comments and criticisms are always welcome. Even flames; if you can't stand the heat, you shouldn't be in the kitchen. Even professional writers get flamed, and to expect people not to flame part-timers like us ff writers is silly. Any ideas from suggestions that I incorporate into the story will earn a credit line. Some modification to the fight scene between Ranma and Eternal Sailor Moon after Ben Oliver complained it wasn't long enough. Thanks Ben! 


	2. Part II (four chapters)

A Ranma 1/2 / Sailor Moon cross over mini-series. A PG rating for language and situations.

This story and a few others can be found on my web page at  
http://www.geocities.com/jlfenton65/  
jlfenton65@yahoo.com

My thanks to Ben Oliver for proof reading and suggestions. While not every suggestion made it into the story, they kept me laughing long enough to finish the chapter.

Ranma 1/2 is a trademark of Viz Communications, Inc. and was created by Rumiko Takahashi.  
Sailor Moon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko and some other folks such as D.I.C. and Cloverway.  
This story is of my own derivation and is not intended for commercial purposes, so please don't sue me.  


What has gone before...

In part one, Ranma has a disagreement with Akane that ends in the termination of their engagement. Fortunately, Genma has another arrangement with a family that lives in nearby Azabu-Juban, the Tsukinos. Normally, Tsukino Kenji would never consider an arranged marriage, but he discovered his sixteen year-old daughter has a serious relationship with a college student more than five years older - _and_ who has his own apartment. Kenji is using the engagement to break up Usagi's relationship with Mamoru. Genma has other ideas, and made Ranma promise to hide his curse as long as possible. Of course, Usagi learns of his curse before the day is over, but assumes Ranma must be another bad guy and attacks as Sailor Moon. Ranma straightens out the misunderstanding, but now knows Usagi's secret. The two call a truce until they can formulate new plans to get their lives back to normal (such as it is). The next day, Ranma accompanies Usagi to Juuban High School where they (literally) run into Minako. Discovering that although they are engaged, it is not by their own choice and consider each other 'free,' Minako decides Ranma is perfect boyfriend material and stakes her claim. After an altercation in the hall, she learns of Ranma's curse. At lunch, the rest of Usagi's friends learn of the engagement and Ranma's curse, and agree to help the pair. After school, Ranma is taken shopping for a school uniform by Usagi and her mother. Usagi uses the opportunity to tease Ranma about his curse by dragging him through the women's clothing section. This backfires as Ikuko, knowing nothing of Ranma's curse, misinterprets Usagi's actions as romantic interest.

And so, without further ado, we continue...

Wild Horses and Rabbits Don't Mix - Part 2

by Joe Fenton

Chapter 1: Identity Crisis

Ranma walked down the street, accompanied by Usagi, Ami, Minako, and Makoto. The girls had decided to take Ranma over to the shrine where they would meet Rei to discuss plans. Both moon cats were left home for this meeting; Ami had to promise the cats a recording of the meeting before they reluctantly agreed.

After a short discussion with Ami, Haruka and Michiru decided to sit this meeting out as well; it seemed to them that Usagi's problem would be best worked out among the inner senshi, plus, the two older girl's presence might give Ranma too much information. He already knew about Sailor Moon; no need to give away the rest of the senshi's identities.

Ranma shivered slightly from the cold; fall was finally making its presence known. For once, he was glad to have the gray jacket the boy's uniform required. He'd really hate to have to wear a skirt like the girls. How did they put up with that in winter? Despite the stockings they wore, the girls were hurrying. He guessed, correctly for a change, that part of their hurry was the desire to get out of the cold.

Makoto noticed his attention to their haste and decided to divert his concern; after all, there wasn't anything he could do about the weather. "Ranma?"

Ranma immediately assumed the worst. Several months in Nerima had him trained to expect such misunderstandings. "I wasn't staring! Really!" He waved his arms about, warding off a blow that didn't fall.

Makoto wondered briefly about Ranma's past. She put that off for another time; she was more interested in the concept of a gender-changing curse. "Ami, Rei, and I haven't seen your curse yet; maybe you could show us? Not that we don't believe you, but it _is_ kind of hard to imagine."

Ranma sighed in relief. "Okay. Once we get to the shrine, I'll demonstrate it. But just that one time!" He grimaced. "It's bad enough changin' by accident without havin' to do it on purpose." He brightened a little. "But, on the good side, I've only accidentally changed twice in the last two days. That's a personal record; maybe leavin' Nerima wasn't such a bad thing."

The girls looked puzzled; the mystery piqued their curiosity. Ami spoke for the group. "What do you mean?"

Ranma was about to speak when the squeal of tires interrupted. As a group, they all turned to look up the street where a car had pulled out right in front of a delivery truck. The truck slammed on it's brakes, sliding into the next lane. The driver of a car in that lane panicked and swerved into the curb, blowing out a tire with explosive force. A professional dog-walker passing by was shocked by both the sound and the fact that he had nearly been hit by a car; the group of dogs straining against their leashes suddenly found themselves free, and ran from the source of the commotion. Ranma and the girls watched the dogs stream past them on the sidewalk. A man ran out of the store they were in front of, hoping to see the accident, and found himself fouled in the leases. He was sent sprawling into the road. A driver coming the other way was distracted by the accident up ahead and failed to notice the man until the last second and swerved to miss him. This took his car over the sidewalk and into a fire hydrant. The force of the water under the car caused water to spray for meters all around, one such spray catching Ranma right in the face. The girls looked in shock at the petite, red-headed girl in a wet, baggy, boy's uniform.

Ranma sighed even louder. "That's what I mean." She wiped her face in resignation and tightened the belt on her pants. "I have to admit, that was a little more involved than normal. Usually, someone just splashes me."

As if Ranma had spoken magic words, a bucketful of water descended from above, soaking more of her uniform. Ranma looked up toward to building just in time to catch another bucketful in the face.

One by one, the girls nervously started to giggle as Ami asked, "You mean like that?"

Ranma moved to the side away from the window as yet another bucketful splashed the sidewalk where she had been standing. She muttered under her breath, "One of these days..."

~~~~

Mai paused in bailing out the bath. She was muttering under _her_ breath, "You just _had_ to have a full furoba in an _upstairs_ apartment." She switched her position to make it easier to dump the water from the rinse bucket out the open window.

~~~~

Ranma glared at the giggling girls. "This ain't funny!"

Rei smirked at the soaked red-head. "Lighten up, Ranma! It's not like you could get any more wet."

Another bucket of water poured over Ranma. She glared harder. "You just _had_ to say that -" She was cut off as yet another cascade came down upon her. "ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!" She stomped further from the building.

~~~~

"What the hell!" Hideki stepped into the ankle-deep water. "What happened here?!"

Mai stopped bailing and gave him an irritated glare. "What do you think? The drain clogged up and the shower broke! I was lucky to get the water shut off before the floor gave out!" She bounced the other rinse bucket off his head. "Don't just stand there! Bail!"

Hideki grumbled as he picked up the shallow, wooden bucket. "Okay, but move over so we can both reach the window."

~~~~

Ranma had her jacket off, trying to wring it out. Water started to cascade down from two different angles. Ranma dropped her arms and stood dejected as the girls lost it and fell over laughing in disbelief.

Ami finally found her voice as the others settled from loud chuckles back into their previous soft giggles. "Maybe we should just go before something else happens. Rei can get you some hot water when we reach the shrine." Laughter threatened to overtake her again as Ranma moved away from the building, her now too large shoes squelching with each step.

Ranma was in agreement. "Good idea." She rolled her eyes and prayed this more than balanced her previous good luck with water.

The group, now all girls, continued towards the shrine, water trailing behind the one trudging along at the rear.

****

Rei watched in morbid fascination as Ranma poured the hot water over her head. The short red-haired girl grew and changed, becoming a taller, more muscular, black-haired boy.

"Wow! I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it." She shook her head. Even fighting demons from another dimension didn't prepare you for having someone you knew change sex with the temperature of water. The only thing close in her experience was finding out she was a Sailor Senshi; even then, the magic only made her faster and stronger; she didn't change physically the way Ranma did. She shivered as she imagined what it must be like to become a boy; she wondered how he could stand such a thing. Then she opened a can of worms by voicing this. "I can't imagine what it's like to be a girl who turn's into a boy with hot water."

A red aura snapped into being around Ranma as he turned to face her. "I'm a _guy_, dammit!! A _guy_ who turns into a _girl_ with _cold_ water!"

Rei swallowed and took a step back. Whoa! Scary! She had never seen a battle-aura so powerful on a normal human. But then, normal didn't exactly describe this particular human. His ki control must be phenomenal! She held up her hands in a placating manner. "Sorry, sorry! I just meant I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if it were me."

The aura blinked out of existence. Ranma scratched the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that. It's justa sore point with me."

She nodded. "Now _that_ I can imagine."

Ranma gave her a pained look. "You have _no_ idea... try imagining all the trouble it causes in school. I have to change for P.E. inna storage closet."

The miko blinked. "Why?"

He stared at her with a long, hard "you've got to be kidding me" look on his face. "You know how most high schools guys are, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, a bunch of perverts, the whole lot of them." She started at his glare and continued quickly. "Um, present company excluded, of course." She tried to smile like she meant it.

He growled a little. "Well, that's pretty much the case, ain't it? So now try picturing changin' clothes or," he shuddered, "takin' a shower inna room fulla guys that know that one splash a cold water means instant girl."

"Ewwwwww!"

Ranma watched a collective shudder run through those present and nodded. "'Splash-Ranma' was a pretty popular pastime at my last school once the word got around. That's why I'm tryin' to keep it a secret."

Minako asked the obvious question. "Then, how _do_ you clean up after P.E.?"

"Hose at the equipment shed." He shrugged. "After ten years of bathin' in mountain streams, the water's not that cold, and I can usually find hot water pretty quick afterwards."

Rei looked thoughtful. "That might also explain how you can generate so much ki."

He looked at her blankly.

Ami tried to alleviate his ignorance. "Well, living outside for so long, bathing in cold water, the average person would probably have succumbed to hypothermia."

Still blank. "Scum-hypo-what?"

Rei sighed. "Your body had to adjust to the harsh living to keep you alive. You're quite lucky." She looked a little jealous. "Being a martial artist has allowed you to make some use of all that ki you've developed. I can control my ki as part of my training as a shrine maiden to do fire readings, but it's nowhere near as strong."

Ranma regained some of his smug attitude. "Well, I _am_ the best there is."

A couple of the girls rolled their eyes. He may be strong, but wouldn't match up to any of them in their senshi form. Rei snorted in contempt.

Minako gave Rei a glare, then wrapped herself around one of his arms. "He's _really_ fast! Usagi was saying he dodged all her attacks." Usagi nodded in support of her friend.

Rei gave the boy an appraising look. He might not have any magic abilities, but he was handsome and pretty strong for someone without magical enhancement. One could definitely do worse for a boyfriend. "The curse doesn't bother you then?"

Minako shook her head. "Of course not!" Under the onslaught of several glares, she relented. "Well, maybe a little. But it's just a curse. Sailor Moon might even be able to break it."

Rei grinned at Usagi. "He'll probably be so grateful, he'll pledge his undying love to you."

Usagi grinned a moment, lost in the romantic day-dream, until she remembered she had no interest in the boy. "What?!" She rounded on Ranma, shaking a fist in his face. "You better not! My Mamoru will break you in half if you even think about it!"

Minako decided to remind everyone who had the first shot at this particular hunk. She turned heart-filled eyes on the pig-tailed boy. "So, when are we going to have that dinner together?"

Makoto started. "Ranma invited you out to dinner?" She looked distraught for a moment. Ranma was prime material compared to most of the guys available. His experience with his curse would also leave him with a better understanding of girls than any other guy could possibly claim. Minako had called dibs before the others even had a chance. She frowned at her friend, then noticed Rei doing the same. They nodded in agreement. If Minako struck out, they'd have to make sure Ranma had a good impression of them so they could make their own play for him.

Ranma had that confused look again. "I did?"

"Yes, he did," Minako replied quickly. "Actually, we were going to have dinner at my place."

Makoto frowned, then brightened up as she quipped, "As long as you don't cook... no need to poison him on the first date."

Minako pouted. "My cooking isn't that bad!"

Rei clenched her fists. "What about the time I was sick? Your soup had me breathing fire!"

Ranma started to sweat - another girl after him who couldn't cook. Why was he so cursed? He leaned toward Ami and whispered, "Is her cooking really that bad?"

Ami nodded absently, still thinking of the scans being made by her hidden Mercury computer rather than the conversation. "Hmm? Oh, yes, even worse than Usagi's."

"Uh oh." Ranma glanced at his current fiancée out of the corner of his eye. "Just how bad _is_ Usagi's cooking then?"

"Ami-chan!" Usagi protested. "My cooking isn't that bad!" She slammed a hand down on the table in front of them. "I'll show you all! Tomorrow night, I'll cook everyone dinner!"

Large beads of sweat stood out on the other's foreheads.

Ranma just groaned. He _really_ needed to get out of this engagement. He tried to get the girl's attention. "Um, guys? Shouldn't we be thinking about how to deal with the engagement?"

Usagi shook her fist in his face again. "_Guys_?! _You're_ the one with the freaky curse!"

"I think he meant that in the general sense, Usagi," Makoto noted.

Ranma nodded frantically.

"Oh..." Usagi calmed down. "I knew that!" She laughed nervously and quickly withdrew her fist, lacing her hands together behind her. "So... we should get back to figuring out what to do."

Ranma's shoulders slumped. "I thought I just said that."

Minako nodded enthusiastically. The sooner they broke up the pair, the quicker she could make her claim official. She was muttering too low for anyone but Ranma to hear. "I'll show Ace whose love will be hopeless for all eternity." She started to laugh maniacally as Ranma trembled.

Rei gave her a dirty look. She _still_ hadn't repaid Minako for the "care" she had received when she was sick. She'd have to think of a way to thank her appropriately, just as soon as an opportunity arose.

****

A sturdy young man with black hair, well-worn clothes, and a huge pack stood beside the road. The street signs told him he was in Japan, but gave him few other clues as to his whereabouts. Of course, Tokyo Tower in the background and the Shinjuku skyline would have been clues to anyone else. His sense of direction would be of no help in this situation - he'd have to take more direct action.

He grabbed a passing man by the collar, hoisting him easily from the sidewalk. "Is this Nerima?!"

The man strained against the teen's grip, but is was futile. "No! This is Juban!"

Ryoga ignored the man's struggles as he thought. He was in Tokyo! Now to find Nerima and make Ranma pay.

The man pried at the boy's hand with a crowbar.

"Tell me how to get to the Tendo Dojo!" He shook his captive slightly.

The man shook his head sharply as he dropped the crowbar. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Ryoga snorted and tossed him carelessly over one shoulder. Fortunately for the man, this was Juban; the last person Ryoga had tossed over his shoulder in Nerima had landed in the street as it was being re-paved and had been covered in asphalt before being steam-rolled.

Ryoga looked around for someone else to ask, noticing the shrine behind him for the first time. Maybe he could ask a miko. He blushed slightly at the thought of a beautiful young shrine maiden smiling as she pointed out the true path toward the site of his inevitable victory.

****

Ranma shook his head as he watched Usagi fight with Rei over a manga. Trust his finacée to contribute nothing to this planning session. On the other side of the room, Minako was arguing with Makoto about something; he had the sneaking suspicion it was related to him. Only Ami seemed to be concerned about the problem at hand. He got the impression that these planning sessions the girls held usually just degenerated into waiting for Ami to come up with something they could all agree on. The sound of someone pounding on the front door broke up the fight between Usagi and Rei as the miko went to answer the door. Ranma followed the girl, staying just outside the entryway as the girl answered the door.

Ryoga was still daydreaming as the door opened. He thought he was still daydreaming as the door opened to reveal a beautiful girl with long black hair. Her shrine maiden's outfit did nothing to detract from her appearance.

"Can I help you?"

Ryoga came out of his daydream as the girl spoke. The realization that the girl wasn't a dream stunned him into immobility.

Rei looked at the young man in concern. He seemed to be in some form of distress. She lead the nervous boy in and shut the door. Maybe he just needed some water.

Ranma's eyes widened. He darted back to Rei's room. "Aw, man! It's Ryoga!"

Minako and Makoto stopped arguing. They quickly joined Usagi in spying on the newest arrival, their heads forming an impromptu totem pole.

"Wow! He looks just like my old senpai!" Makoto rounded on Ranma. "You know that hunk?!"

Ranma gritted his teeth. "That pig is the main reason I had to leave the only home I've had in eleven years."

Usagi frowned at her fiancé. "You shouldn't be so mean! Someone that good looking _can't_ be evil!"

Ranma looked nonplussed. "No. I mean he's _really_ a pig! He's gotta curse like mine. Besides, you shouldn't judge people by how they look."

Minako waved Rei over as Ryoga waited for her to return. "Ranma knows this guy. He thinks he's trouble."

Rei looked torn: on one hand, they had another hunk to look at; on the other hand, he might be trouble. "Well, maybe Ranma should just hide here until he goes."

Ranma shook his head. "We can try that, but things like this never work out for me."

Rei smiled. "You'll just have to hide here in my room. I'll come get you later." She winked at the boy as his face reddened.

Usagi noticed Minako growing angry at Rei's obvious flirting. She had to act quickly to prevent a fight. She grabbed a handy bucket of water.

Ranma sputtered as cold water cascaded down the back of her neck. She rounded on Usagi. "Hey! What'd you do that for?!"

Usagi dropped the bucket she was holding and gave him an innocent look. "We can fool him with a disguise, and what better disguise than being a girl?"

Ranma gave her a disgusted look. "Except that bacon-breath already knows of my curse!"

Usagi looked embarrassed. "Oops." The other girls rolled their eyes and groaned.

Rei glared at the blonde, then turned to Ranma. "Just stay here until he leaves."

Ranma crossed arms. "Sure thing."

Rei walked out to greet the new boy. The shrine maiden frowned at the other girls trailing behind her. "You don't all need to come with me."

Makoto smiled sweetly. "We're, uh, just keeping you cover. Yeah! In case he really is trouble like Ranma said."

The others hurriedly nodded their agreement.

Rei sighed. "Let's see to our guest."

Ranma peeked out into the main hall and had a glimpse of Ryoga going catatonic as a group of pretty girls surrounded him.

Rei quizzically prodded the boy in the shoulder. He seemed to be in shock. "Are you all right?"

Ryoga slowly got control of himself. "Y-yeah. Heh-heh." He scratched the back of his head. "So, uh, do any of you know how to get to the Tendo..." He trailed off, glancing around. He muttered, almost too low to be heard, "There's a large ki-source nearby!" Something was wrong here. A ki-signature that large meant trouble, and he could tell it wasn't any of the girls.

Makoto waved a hand in front of his face. "Hello! Anybody home? Sorry, you kind of spaced out there for a moment."

Ryoga gave the girls a grim look. "There's trouble nearby! I feel something powerful in the shrine. From the stories I've heard about Juban, it's probably one of those monsters! As a Martial Artist, it's my _duty_ to protect the weak!" He moved further into the shrine.

Rei tried to restrain the boy. "You mustn't go back there! That part of the shrine is off limits to visitors."

Ryoga just bulled on ahead. "I can't just ignore trouble! What if it's one of those monsters that seem to appear around here?"

Seeing the miko being dragged along without trouble, the others grabbed his arms in an effort to help. Ryoga seemed to have as little trouble dragging five girls as dragging one.

Rei dashed ahead of the others while Ryoga had his attention diverted by Usagi. She ran back to her room. "Quick, Ranma! He's coming this way!" She led the pig-tailed girl back to one of the storerooms. "I have a couple of old costumes back here!"

Ranma frowned at the idea of hiding from Ryoga in a costume, but she would hate to have him destroy the shrine looking for her. "So whatta you got?"

Rei dug through a few boxes. "Either a Wedding Peach dress, or a Sailor-V getup." A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth. If Ranma didn't chose the Sailor-V outfit on his own, she'd have to subtly persuade him.

Ranma thought quickly. She didn't think she could wear a peach colored wedding dress. Besides, hadn't Ryoga said he sensed someone strong? "Better make it the Sailor-V costume."

Rei pulled out a long, flat box. "Here, put this on while I check on how the others are doing."

Ranma looked in the box. The contents were: a blue skirt with a blue bow in the back; a white and red blouse with a red bow in the center of the chest, a blue collar, and white shoulder pads; a pair of elbow length white gloves with yellow trim; a pair of blue dress shoes; a white choker with a gold moon emblem; a red mask; and a long, day-glow yellow wig with a red hairbow already in place. It was definitely a Sailor-V costume... a really _bad_ Sailor-V costume. While the ensemble had everything needed, it was so cheap that only a fool would think it anything but a child's costume. So - Ryoga would probably never notice. Ranma sighed. It wasn't like she had a choice at this point, but the girls would never let her live this down. She removed the articles from the box. Thank kami-sama she wouldn't run into the real Sailor-V here; she would probably kill her for making a mockery of her.

Rei grabbed some sodas from her room and hurried over to Ryoga as he routed through a closet. She passed the sodas around and whispered to Usagi, "I thought for sure he'd have reached my room by now."

Usagi drained her soda in one gulp before answering. "It's _weird_! He's searched that closet _four times_ already!"

Makoto held out a drink to Ryoga as he left the closet again. She smiled. "Have a drink?"

Ryoga lost his train of thought as he stared at the tall girl. "Huh?"

The other girls clustered around Ryoga, sipping their drinks. Minako looked over as Ranma entered the room and sprayed a mouthful of soda toward Ryoga. The boy dodged frantically, then turned to see what the choking girl was gaping at; his eyes bugged out as he recognized the figure before him.

"Sailor-V?!" The lost boy zipped up to her with wide, shining eyes. "I'm your biggest fan! I can't believe I ran into you here!"

This time it was Makoto who sprayed soda as she started laughing.

Minako started turning a bright red as embarrassment and anger warred within her. She dragged Rei off to one side. "What the heck is Ranma pulling? Why did you give her - _that_ to wear?!"

Rei just grinned evilly. "I don't know _what_ you're talking about. Ranma chose the costume." She laughed as Minako clenched her fists and glared daggers at her.

Ranma blinked at Ryoga. The boy was _truly_ dense. "Uh - I just stopped here so my _good friend_ Rei," she glared daggers at the laughing girl, "could give me a fire reading."

Ryoga was babbling in joy at meeting his idol. "Did the idol Pandora really try to brainwash everyone using TV?"

Ranma hadn't the vaguest idea what he was talking about. Of course, he and his pop _had_ spent nearly every moment of the last ten years on the road. "Uh..."

Ryoga continued without waiting for an answer. "Did you really fight evil Hawaiians in Greece? I know an evil Hawaiian right here in Tokyo!"

Ranma couldn't form a response to that.

Ryoga never noticed. "I heard you defeated one enemy in a karaoke battle! My sworn enemy Ranma once had a Martial Arts Karaoke challenge."

Ranma muttered to herself, "Oh yeah. I remember that."

Ryoga looked impressed. "Really? You were there? Wow! You really get around!" Ranma started to sweat, but Ryoga just moved on. "Hey, I heard you went to China once. I picked up this little problem there." He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Um, maybe you could help me out?"

Ranma had to get him off this line of questions. "I understand you came from Nerima? Just what happened up there?"

Ryoga gave her a smug look. "Well, I don't normally brag, but there was this _jerk_ Ranma who was mistreating this girl I like, and tearing up the place. So, I ran the coward out of town." Ranma worked hard to keep a smile on her face. "I was going to comfort the poor girl afterwards, but - uh - I kinda lost my way in the dark." He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. And so I wound up here. Maybe you can tell me how to get back to Nerima?"

Ranma sighed in disgust. The big idiot got lost immediately following the fight and would have no useful information.

Ryoga gave her a nervous laugh. "Um, Miss V?" Ranma rolled her eyes. "I'm a martial artist... the strongest one in Japan. Maybe you can show me a special move?"

Ranma allowed her anger full reign. She grinned madly. "Sure - _anything_ for a fan." She struck a heroic pose. At least, it was supposed to be heroic. To the others, standing with one leg stretched behind her, the other leg bent forward at the knee, and arms akimbo, just looked - well, stupid.

Usagi whispered in a worried voice. "_We_ don't look that bad, do we?"

Ranma cried in a loud voice as she waved one hand high, forefinger and pinkie extended. "Code name: Sailor V!! The soldier of justice! I am the sailor-suited beautiful soldier, Sailor Venus! I just want to be left in peace! That peace has been disrupted for the last time! The one to pay will be you!"

Minako was making choking sounds as she tried to restrained herself from pulling her henshin pin and showing them just what the _real_ Sailor Venus did to impostors.

Ranma lead enough ki to a fist that the appendage started glowing. "SAILOR V - VENUS, uh, LOVE TAP!!" With the shout, she leapt forward. The blow flattened Ryoga, forming a small crater around him.

Ryoga smiled as lay insensate, "She touched me!"

As the boy struggled back to his feet, Ranma redirected her ki to her legs and kicked out at shoulder level. "SAILOR V - VENUS HEART-BREAKING KICK!"

Ryoga took the shorter girl's kick right in the chest. It sent him rocketing across the room and through the wall. His flight was arrested by the wall surrounding the shrine. The boy remained embedded in the wall a moment, dazed, while the girls all looked through the hole in the shrine wall. Minako looked about ready to do the same to Ranma.

Ryoga pulled himself from the wall with a dazed look. "Wow! I never knew Sailor-V wore boxers!" He wandered off in a haze. It was many long minutes before he came back down enough to realize he was no longer at the shrine. His expression immediately dropped as he yelled to no one in particular. "WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!"

Ranma struggled to get control back, then noticed the large hole in the wall. "Oops! Sorry 'bout that." She growled a little. "That jerk just really gets me riled!"

Minako rounded on her. "Never mind that! Just what the heck are you doing in that costume?!"

Ranma looked at the angry expression on her face. "Sorry... didn't realize you were a fan, too." She pointed to Rei. "It's her fault - she's the one that gave me the costume!" The girl in question was still laughing as Ranma muttered, "Boy, I'm just glad the real Sailor-V wasn't here."

Makoto smiled as she moved up beside Minako. "Yeah, that costume was _horrible_! Don't you think so, Mina-chan?" She elbowed her friend. "I can't believe that guy fell for something so stupid!" She glanced over at the blond girl, then back at Ranma. "Of course, that punch was really something. I almost thought you were the _real_ Sailor-V myself for a second. Don't you think, Mina-chan?" She elbowed the girl again.

Minako didn't answer. She was in a mindless fury, so she probably wouldn't have been able to make a comprehensible reply anyway.

Rei couldn't leave well enough alone. "And that Sailor-V impression was to die for!"

Ranma didn't notice Minako slowly turning red as she preened. "Really? You didn't think it was a little, well, dorky?"

Rei shook her head. "Not at all! You were great!"

Minako slowly turned purple as a dark, torturous aura built up around her.

Ranma looked around. "Rei? Think I can get some hot water?"

Rei got a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Sure thing, Ranma-kun." She hurried off, then reappeared with a kettle. Before Ranma could stop her, she poured the water over the girl. She smirked at the boy now straining the seams of a way-too-small Sailor-V costume. "Wow! Now you look _just like_ Sailor-V!"

Ranma never got the chance to make his displeasure known as Minako howled and chased the laughing shrine maiden out of the room. The small group listened as Minako chased the girl outside and around the shrine a few times. Ranma shook his head and left to get his clothes from the storeroom. He sure was glad it wasn't _him_ Minako was mad at. No telling what an angry fan was capable of.

Chapter 2: Rain Check

The trio of Minako, Usagi, and Ranma headed back toward the Tsukino residence. Minako was still fuming over the ribbing the girls had given her.

Usagi gave the boy an apologetic look. "Sorry about Rei. I think she went a little too far-"

Minako cut her off. "A _little_?!"

Ranma just waved it off. "Don't worry about it. I've had worse done to me before. 'Sides, it _was_ kinda funny when you think about it. Even _I_ have trouble believing Ryoga fell for that disguise."

Usagi giggled briefly, then paused, a puzzled look on her face. "But why did he show up here? And where did he go?"

Ranma gave a brief explanation. "Ryoga has a really bad sense a direction. It usually leads him away from where he wants to be and leads him to where he shouldn't be. I think he's found way back to his own home only once in the last year and half."

Minako looked thoughtful. "You know, that's really sad. He must be a really lonely person."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah. He's always depressed. I'd feel sorry for the guy, 'cept that he's always screwin' up my life. Don't know why, but he's decided I'm to blame for everything wrong in his life."

The three stopped in front of the Tsukino residence.

Ranma looked at Minako. "Uh, about dinner - maybe we can do it some other time? This is about as much as I can take in one day, okay?"

Minako nodded. "Sure Ranma. I understand. I feel the same way." She sighed in disappointment. "I'll just see the two of you tomorrow at school."

Usagi gave Minako a hug. "Good night, Mina-chan."

It was about this time that the skies opened up and rain gushed down in sheets. Usagi and Minako looked over to see a drenched red-headed glower at this turn of events.

Ranma looked morose. "Aw, man! What else can go wrong today? Now I gotta sneak in and get some hot water."

Minako looked puzzled. "What's the problem?"

Usagi wiped her face with a sleeve. "The problem is that my folks don't know about Ranma's curse, and he promised his dad to try and hide it as long as possible."

Minako thought about it a moment. "You could either try to sneak in, or - you could come over to my place and get some hot water and wait out the storm."

Ranma looked from Usagi to Minako. "Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Sure." Minako shrugged. "It's no big deal. We'll tell my folks that you're a friend from school, then once the rain stops, I can give you some hot water as you leave. If it looks like the rain isn't stopping anytime soon, maybe you can get by with an umbrella. I'm sure my folks have one you can borrow."

Ranma gave her a big smile. "Thanks, Mina-chan!" She realized what she called the girl and looked away, embarrassed.

Minako smiled at her reaction.

Usagi glared from one to the other. She was irritated at Ranma for being the source of this trouble, at Minako for being so nice to someone who was still nominally her fiancé, and mad at herself for giving a damn about the two in the first place. Why was she jealous? She had Mamoru. She really needed to sort out her feelings. She sighed and turned towards Minako's home. "I'd better come along. If I show up without Ranma, the folks will have a fit."

Minako frowned at the girl, then shrugged. "Sure. I don't want you to get in any trouble. I'll have plenty of time with Ranma after we take care of your engagement."

Usagi wasn't sure how to react to that.

The three struggled towards Minako's home as the winds howled and whipped the torrential rains into a frenzy. At least it seemed that way to the each of the youngsters as they struggled with the feelings invoked by the happenings of the day.

****

The three girls stood dripping in the entryway of the Aino residence. Minako's mom hurried over.

"Minako! You should know better than to go out during the rain this time of year." She looked at Usagi. "Nice to see you again, Usagi. You can call your parents and tell them that you're staying until the rain eases up. I'm sure they're worried sick about you." She turned her attention to Ranma. "And who might you be, young lady?"

The woman was blond, like her daughter, but with an air of dignity the younger girl lacked. She was dressed in a simple blouse and skirt. Ranma opened her mouth in preparation of inserting her foot.

Usagi placed a hand over Ranma's mouth before she could get herself in trouble and answered for her. "This is an old friend of mine from out of town, Ran," she pause a brief instant, "ko. Yeah, Ranko." She laughed nervously. "She's... staying at my place. Ranko, this is Mina's mother, Amai."

Ranma just glared at Usagi.

Amai nodded at the introduction. "Well then, I suppose your folks are worried about her too. Bad enough their daughter is running around in the rain, but to have a houseguest out heaven-only-knows where..." She hustled the girls into the bathroom. "You girls get out of those wet clothes and get dried off before you catch a cold. I'll bring Usagi and Ranko some robes to wear while their clothes are in the drier." She hurried off.

Minako and Usagi looked at Ranma and blushed a bright red.

Ranma looked ready to faint. "Um, is it too late to just sneak into Usagi's place?"

Minako groaned. "Now what are we going to do? If Mom comes back and we're not dried off, she'll probably try to do it herself."

Usagi scowled at her. "She wouldn't _really_ do that."

Minako looked dubious. "_I_ wouldn't want to chance it. You haven't seen her when she gets into one of her mothering moods."

Usagi shuffled nervously. "Maybe if Ranma kept his back turned..."

Ranma pointed to the mirror over the sink. "What about the mirror?"

Minako gave it a look. "It has to be on our side; that way we can make sure you aren't peeking. Besides, you might be a guy, but you're a girl at the moment, so it wouldn't be like we were peeking."

Ranma gave in with a sigh. "Okay, okay, but let's hurry up. Your mom will be back soon."

They divided up the towels. Minako and Usagi waited for Ranma to turn around and quickly stripped off their wet clothes. They hurriedly toweled off, checking the mirror frequently to make sure Ranma wasn't trying anything. They wrapped a towel about themselves after drying off, then started on their hair. By the time Minako's mom returned, all three were wrapped up and drying their hair.

She noticed the girls' relative positions. "My you're all quite shy tonight." She handed Ranma and Usagi robes, and a change of clothes to her daughter. She picked up the girls' clothes. "Ranko dear? Why were you wearing boy's clothes?"

Ranma turned red. "I, uh, I guess I'm just a tomboy." She laughed self-consciously.

Ranma and Usagi slipped on the robes and left Minako to change; they followed Amai to the living room, still blushing slightly. Mrs. Aino continued into the utility room to start the girls' clothes drying.

Usagi went to the phone to call home while Ranma found a seat. She studied Mrs. Aino as she reentered the room. The woman caught her staring.

"Is something the matter, Ranko."

Ranma blushed again. "No; it's just that I ain't seen my own mom in over ten years."

Minako sat next to her, dressed in a fresh change of clothes. "Why haven't you seen your mom in so long?"

Usagi finished her phone call and wandered over, curious about what Ranma would say.

"Well, my pop took me onna trainin' journey when I was six, and we've been on the road pretty much the whole time since. He wanted me to be the best martial artist of my generation. I guess I am, but now that our trainin' trip is done, we ain't headed home. I've asked, but the fat panda won't tell me nothin'."

Amai gave her a sympathetic look. "It must have been hard growing up on the road, but that's no excuse for bad manners. You need to mind your language or people won't think of you as a lady."

Usagi smirked, seeing another opportunity to tease Ranma. "Yeah, Ranko! You _do_ want to be a lady, right?"

Minako gave Usagi a glare as the girl continued her teasing.

"How are you ever going to land a man if you act like such a tomboy?"

Both Minako and Ranma glared at the girl.

Amai chided Usagi. "Now Usagi, is that anyway to talk to an old friend? Especially considering _that_. How would you feel in her position?" She turned back to Ranma. "Have you tried looking her up yourself? If you remember where you used to live, you could simply call directory service."

Ranma scratched her head. "Well, I do know we used to live in the Nerima district. I don't remember too much else."

"It's a start. Now, what's your mother's name?"

The three waited a moment, then turned to look at the blank girl.

Minako asked gently, "You don't remember your mother's name? What did you used to call her?"

Ranma's brow furrowed as she thought at length. Her face lit up. "I remember!"

They leaned forward expectantly. "What was it?"

"It was a long time ago, but I remember. I called her... Mom!"

The others face-faulted.

Mrs. Aino was the first to her feet. "Do remember your father ever mentioning her name? Did he ever say anything about her?"

Ranma thought a moment. "No, I can't remember him ever mentioning her. Whenever I'd ask about her, he'd just hit me an' tell me to stop actin' like a girl." She shrugged. "After awhile, I just quit askin'."

The three women were shocked, especially Amai as she was unaware of Ranma's curse. They struggled to hold back tears. Ranma started to worry at all the drawn faces and eyes shining with unshed tears.

Minako spoke hesitantly. "Maybe - maybe she's dead and he just couldn't break it to you."

Amai swept the girl up in a big hug. "Oh! You poor girl!"

Ranma struggled to pry herself free. She shook her head. "No, he'd a said somethin' if that'd happened. It's more like he's hidin' somethin'; for some reason, he just don't want me seein' her."

Usagi and Minako independently decided to ask Ami to help hunt down Ranma's mother. Perhaps they could trace her through her husband or son. Ami would have a better idea of where to start.

Amai smiled at Ranma as she finally released her. She laid a hand on Ranma's shoulder; she decided it was her duty to provide a mother's guidance until the girl's mother was found. "Well, while you're here, you can consider yourself family."

Minako smiled. "I already consider her family."

Usagi fumed in jealousy; she was _still_ Ranma's fiancée. Minako was going to get a piece of her mind later.

Ranma completely missed the innuendo.

Amai continued, "Maybe we could all go to the hot springs after you get out of school tomorrow." She and Minako occasionally took advantage of the half-day of school on Saturday by going to the Koshino-yu onsen, unless Minako was out with her friends.

Minako and Usagi would have fallen had they not already been seated. Minako looked at her mom. "I think Usagi and Ranko already have plans." She waved at Usagi behind her back desperately.

Usagi looked blank for a moment, then got the hint. "Oh! Yeah - Ranko and I had planned - um - to go shopping! Yeah. See, Ranko still doesn't have much in the way of clothes after her trip, and they're mostly boy's clothes."

Ranma turned pale as she saw where this was headed.

Amai stood up and headed back to the utility room. "That reminds me. Your clothes should be dry." She came back a few moments later; she handed Usagi her clothes, but frowned at Ranma. "Ranko dear? I'm afraid your clothes shrunk." She held out what appeared to be an outfit for a five year-old. "I'm terribly sorry. This has never happened before."

Ranma groaned. "Now what am I gonna wear?"

Minako thought about it a moment. "I have a few things. Come on back to my room." She grabbed Ranma's arm and started dragging her away.

A few minutes later, everyone was gathered to render judgment over their choice of clothes. Ranma was dressed in a baggy mauve blouse that could _almost_ pass for a shirt, and soft peach pants which were rolled up at the cuffs.

Minako's mom gave her opinion as Ranma turned slowly around. "Oh! That is so _cute_! It's probably a blessing in disguise, your clothes shrinking like that; it gave me a _wonderful_ idea! I know Minako has no plans this weekend, so we can all go help Ranko pick out something that'll make her look pretty."

Usagi squealed in excitement. "Isn't that wonderful Ranko?! I have some _great_ ideas!"

Ranma paled as Usagi hopped around the room.

Amai turned the pallid girl to face her. "You'll feel more feminine in something that isn't so drab." And in the proper undergarments, she added silently. If she ever caught Minako running around without a brassiere and wearing boxers... the poor girl's mother would have fit it she met her daughter the way she was right now. Maybe that was why her father refused to speak on the matter. She pulled the girl into a hug; Ranma settled for glaring daggers at Minako and Usagi over the woman's shoulder.

****

Ranma followed Usagi stiffly through the front door of her house.

Genma eyed his son. "What in the _hell_ are you wearing boy?!" While baggy on his female form, the mauve blouse was skin tight on his male form. The pants weren't much better. "You look like a fruit!"

Usagi grabbed Ranma before he could give his father a well deserved beating. "It's the latest fashion. I think he looks great!" She dragged him up the stairs.

"Well," Kenji commented, "they certainly must be warming up to each other if he's following Usagi's recommendations on clothes." Heaven knows, he wouldn't. Just look at that outfit!

"Hmm," Genma began, mulling that over. "I knew I could count on the boy! Takes after his father!"

"I hope not," Kenji mumbled too low for Genma to catch.

Genma turned to the other man. "So, when do you think we can set a date for them?"

Kenji frowned. "I'd rather they got to know each other better before we decide on that."

Ranma was still fuming as they climbed the stairs, but returned to the more important topic before he forgot about it. "Just how do you plan to deal with the clothes we get tomorrow? I just can't walk into your place with an armful of girl's clothes."

Usagi didn't bat an eye. "Sure you can. Tomorrow, you'll just be another friend from school bringing over some of your new clothes for us to check out. We'll spend some time in my room, then leave and come back after you get some hot water."

Ranma looked at Usagi in a new light. That was about the smartest thing Usagi had done since they met. It _almost_ made up for making him go on a shopping spree for girl's clothes in the first place. He sighed. "Usagi? Did you _have_ to say shopping when you made up plans for us? Why couldn't you have picked _anything_ else besides shopping?"

Usagi looked puzzled. "I _like_ to shop. I had to pick something Minako's mom would believe."

Naturally, he thought to himself. Tomorrow was going to be a _long_ day.

Chapter 3: Shop 'Til You Drop

Ranma grumbled as she followed Usagi to Minako's house. They had changed clothes after school, then stopped at the park so Ranma could use the fountain to change. They would meet at Minako's, then the four women would head off for as much shopping as they could pack into an afternoon.

Minako and her mom met them at their door. Minako and Usagi immediately starting discussing where to go first while Mrs. Aino looked over Ranko. Where the other three were wearing dresses with long skirts and a light jacket, Ranma wore her favorite black ankle-tie pants and a red Chinese shirt.

Amai shook her head. "Ranko, you're not wearing a brassiere again. With your figure, you really need one or you could wind up with back problems." And boy problems, she added silently.

Ranma waved off that idea. "I've spent too much time trainin' for that to happen."

She frowned at the girl. She knew what would be their first stop.

****

"Here we are girls! Our first stop." Amai halted outside a lingerie shop. A sign in one window proclaimed the fact that they carried Triumph International, a rather popular brand. She hurried the girls into the shop.

Ranma sighed as she confronted the racks of intimate apparel. Usagi smiled; this time, she could tease - uh - help Ranma pick out a few things without said help being taken the wrong way.

A clerk scurried over. "Can I help you?" She looked over the small group; her gaze lingered on Ranma before moving to Mrs. Aino.

"Yes, the young lady," Amai gestured to Ranma, "needs a few basic items. After that, we'll see what else she might fancy."

The clerk turned back to the short red-head. The look she received left her no doubt that she'd be earning her pay today. The girl had that look; the one that said 'just _see_ if you find something I'll tolerate.' She sighed and hustled the group back to the changing rooms. She pulled a measuring tape from a pocket and looked expectantly at Ranma.

Usagi noticed Ranma's lack of understanding. "Ranko, you need to get undressed so she can take your measurements."

Ranma turned red. "What?! I can't stand here naked in front of you guys! I'm a -" She bit off the end of that reply. "I'm a - a - just a bit shy."

The clerk looked at the others.

Minako took a deep breath and said, "She's been on the road most all her life with just her father."

"Ahhhh!" The clerk acted like that explained everything. She turned back to Ranma. "No need to be shy, Miss. The changing rooms are private and it's just us girls here. It's not even as bad as the girl's locker room at school." She blinked as the girl turned even more red. She shook her head; she always got the hard cases.

Mrs. Aino gave Ranma a hard stare. "Ranko, we're here to help. No one is going to judge you; we aren't going to say anything to embarrass you."

"Much," Usagi mumbled.

Amai gave the girl a penetrating look; Usagi tried for her best look of innocence. "Now we can't get you any other clothes until you have the proper undergarments. You can make this easy or hard, but we aren't leaving until you are properly attired."

Ranma gave up and started to remove her clothes, grumbling under her breath. She was beet red from head to toe as she removed her boxers.

Usagi just stared. She felt like crying; Ranma wasn't even a real girl and still had a figure Usagi would have killed for.

The clerk looked in disgust at the boxers. The girl's father must be an idiot, she decided. He should be locked up for the way he raised the girl. She tried to hurry and not upset the girl too badly as she got her measurements. That accomplished, her three companions moved back into the store to pick out a few items. After some debate, they settled for a few plain white panties and bras. They could always pick out a couple more items discretely.

Ranma had no trouble with the panties... after the other women pointed out that the tag went to the rear, but Usagi nearly laughed at her attempts to fasten the brassiere. Ranma glared at Usagi as she choked back a few giggles. Minako's mom sighed and moved in to help the girl.

Ranma stood mortified in the plain undergarments. "Are we done yet?"

Usagi gave her an innocent look. "But Ranko, don't you want a few pretty items? A nice lacy black bra and panty?"

Amai didn't notice the glare Ranma gave Usagi. "Yes, that's a good idea Usagi. She'll need something in case she wears a formal gown."

"What?!" Ranma looked distraught.

Amai explained to the girl. "I know you're new to all this, Ranko. You can't wear white underwear under a black silk gown, for example. It would show through the material. We'll need to get you a few sets of undergarments in different colors or we won't be able to get you a gown in those colors later."

Ranma muttered under her breath. "Good."

Amai looked over at the girl. "What dear?"

Ranma spoke a little louder, her voice so sweet, the clerk could feel cavities forming. "Isn't this a little too much? You really don't need to go to all this trouble."

While The Voice worked on teenage male food vendors, the older woman was immune to such attacks. "Nonsense! It's the least I can do after the other day."

Ranma groaned as she looked over the offensive undergarments. "Where's Happosai when you need him..."

That was when the screams of outrage drifted back through the store. The other women ran out of the changing room as Ranma looked up and clapped twice, then threw on her shirt and pants.

Usagi and Minako dashed out of the changing rooms with a feeling of dread. It had been too peaceful lately. What horrible menace would they be facing this time? They looked for the trouble with an eye toward dashing back to the changing rooms if they needed to transform. The trouble wasn't hard to spot, just hard to believe - a midget in a black ninja outfit leapt about the store with a bag that dwarfed his body.

"What a haul! What a haul!" The diminutive martial artist spotted the girls. "Sweet-ums!"

Usagi looked in horror at the figure nestled to her chest.

The figure bounced away. "Bah! I'll get back to you when you graduate from a training bra." He turned towards Minako, who started to back pedal.

Usagi was seeing red. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! YOU LITTLE PERVERTED FREAK!!!" It was bad enough the pervert groped her, but to say _that_? She might have been small in junior high, but she was _proud_ of her figure now. If she wasn't in a room full of people, she'd transform on the spot.

Ranma heard Usagi as she entered the room. She intercepted the old man as he leapt towards Minako. "Happosai." She looked at the old pervert as she held him at arms length.

Happosai looked at Ranma with an angry expression that melted away as he realized what she was wearing. "Ranma! You wore that for me? I accept your apology." He was out of the girl's grasp and into her cleavage in an instant.

Ranma froze in shock. Oh yeah, she thought. That's why I don't like him bein' around.

Happosai leapt away waving the plain white brassiere before she could get her composure back.

Usagi and Ranma joined the crowd of women chasing the old pervert as he left the shop. Amai stopped her daughter before she could join them.

"We have Ranko's measurements and know how that last pair fit. Let's pick out a few things while we have the chance before catching up with your friends."

Minako stared after the rapidly dwindling figures, torn between joining the angry mob and obeying her mother Finally, she nodded. She was certain that Ranma would make a fuss if she were there. Best to get this part over with now. She smiled as she thought of how Ranma might thank her for sparing the boy any further humiliation.

****

A pair of bedraggled girls walked back toward the lingerie shop. Ranma gave Usagi a brief look.

"Well, that was a waste a time."

Usagi breathed an exasperated sigh. "It seems we can't go shopping without being subjected to extreme embarrassment."

Ranma eyed her appraisingly. "Ready to call it quits?"

Usagi thought about it a moment, then shook her head. "Look at it this way, it can't get any worse."

Ranma shook her head. Usagi needed to learn not to say such things; it was just begging some passing kami to make an example of the offender. "Don't say that! The old lech could still be around. You know, you probably coulda caught him if you'd changed into Sailor Moon."

Usagi flinched violently. She turned and swatted Ranma on the back of the head. "Idiot! Why didn't you say something earlier?!"

Ranma groaned. It was the story of her life - blamed for something for which she couldn't possibly be responsible. She gave Usagi a disgusted look. "_I'm_ not a magical girl." She thought about it a second. "Well, actually, I _do_ turn into a girl through magic, so that _sorta_ makes me a magical girl. But _I_ don't fight demons! Well, actually, I _have_ fought an oni and a minor demon or two."

Usagi thought about it a moment. "You don't have magic powers?"

Ranma thought about that, than shook her head. "I can leap a over a small building and crush rocks... to most folks, that'd be like magic."

Usagi nodded. "Yeah, probably. How about, you don't fight for Love and Justice?"

"Well, I don't know about love, but I'd like to think I fight for justice. I know some folks that only fight for revenge; I don't wanna end up like that."

Usagi brightened. "I got it! You don't get a cool outfit when you change! You're stuck in _these_ things." She wrinkled her nose as she poked at Ranma's Chinese shirt. After all the running and fighting they had done, it was somewhat the worse for wear.

Ranma shuddered as she remembered the outfit Usagi had been wearing when she changed in the park. "Ooookay. I'll give you that one."

Usagi frowned. "Hey! What's wrong with my Sailor Moon outfit?!"

Ranma thought a moment before answering. "Well, it just don't seem right for the occasion. I've had to wear somethin' similar when I fought inna Martial Arts Ice Skating challenge, although I'd like to think my outfit had more style." She shook her head. "You wear those awful colors, and you don't even have anythin' like an embroidered dragon or somethin' on it." She flicked her pig-tail back negligently. "Besides, that's _ice skating_." She wriggled her fingers menacingly. "I wouldn't face down a demon with tentacles and what-not wearin' anythin' even _close_ to that!"

Ranma cut off Usagi before she could reply as she noticed the rest of their party. "Look. There's Minako and her mom."

The pair approached carrying their purchases. Minako waved to the girls.

"Hey! What happened with the old pervert?"

Usagi looked disgusted. "He got away. I swear, if I run into him again, he's dead!"

Mrs. Aino shook her head. "Don't let people like that get to you, Usagi." She turned to Ranma. "We got you another bra to replace the one that old man took, Ranko. We'll stop at a public restroom so you can put it on." And quickly, she thought. It was bad enough the girl wasn't wearing a bra, but in the shape her shirt was now, she bordered on scandalous.

Ranma groaned. Losing the bra had been the only good thing that happened the whole afternoon.

Minako gave Ranma a sympathetic look. "So who was that anyway?"

Ranma gave a look of disgust. "That was Master Happosai, my pop's sensei." She snorted. "Hard to believe, but the old lecher is the grandmaster of the school a martial arts I study. I think he developed the school just to molest women."

Minako looked outraged. "Then why hasn't anyone stopped him?"

"'Cause the old pervert's too good! He may be old, but he's fast and takes a lotta punishment. Pop and his friend tried sealing him inna cave with dynamite for a decade." She shook her head. "You ain't gonna stop him without a whole lotta firepower behind you."

Minako shared a look with Usagi. They nodded in agreement. One more thing for the Sailor Senshi to take care of; they'd try Sailor Moon's healing spell... after a good magical beating of course. They _were_ the protectors of Love and Justice, after all.

****

Sayuri nudged Yuka as the girl went through a rack of half-price dresses. "Is that who I think it is over there?"

Yuka looked the way her friend indicated. A red-head had stepped from the changing room. She wore a green evening gown that contrasted nicely with her hair. Then Yuka finally made the connection. "Is that Ranma? What's he doing in a dress? In _that_ dress?"

Sayuri nodded. "And you can tell that he's not wearing boxers under that dress." She gave the other girl a worried look. "You don't think that fight with Akane drove him to..." She couldn't finish that thought.

Yuka looked back and forth between her friend and where Ranma was - reluctantly - showing off the dress to a woman and two other girls. "Oh, what are we going to tell Akane when we meet for ice cream tomorrow?"

****

Ranma shivered as she and Usagi carried the packages up to the house. At least she was out of those frilly, lacy undergarments they made her wear beneath those dresses; thank goodness she was back in normal underwear. Then she groaned to think that she was feeling happy about wearing female undergarments at all. She turned to thank Minako and her mother.

"Good-bye Minako, Mrs. Aino. Thanks for everything." She tried to smile pleasantly.

Amai smiled back. "You're welcome Ranko, and call me Auntie Amai. Try to watch your language. We'll have to have you over for dinner some time."

Minako gave Ranma a hug, then backed off when her mother started to look at her strangely. "Yeah. See you both later."

Usagi waved to her friend and her mother. "It was fun! We'll have to do this again." She turned to Ranma. "Ranko? Aren't you going to thank me for helping you pick out your clothes?"

Ranma gritted her teeth and looked between Usagi and where Minako and her mother waited to hear her reply. "Usagi, I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I _will_ find a way to _thank_ you properly."

Minako and Amai waved again and walked off back toward their home. Usagi looked at Ranma and laughed nervously.

The pair entered the house. Usagi called out a greeting. "We're home!"

Ikuko and Genma entered the living room. Genma fell over as he saw his son. It was easy to tell through the shredded shirt that Ranma was wearing a bra.

Ikuko gasped in concern. "Who is your friend, Usagi? Is she all right? It looks like she's been in a fight!"

Usagi pulled Ranma up beside her. "This is Ranko, a new friend from school. She's fine; we're just going up to my room for a bit." She started dragging the inert girl up the stairs.

Her mother frowned a little. "Where's Ranma?"

Usagi looked to where Genma was waving behind her mother and making frantic gestures. "Oh, I think he's at the arcade still. He said he'd be in before dinner."

Genma moved off looking relieved as Ikuko nodded and headed back for the kitchen. He cast his son a look that promised trouble when they sparred later.

Chapter 4: Sunday Sundaes

In an ice cream shop in Juban, Usagi and Ranma sat across from Ami and Shingo. Ranma smiled slightly. It hadn't been any trouble at all getting Shingo to accompany them or to sit next to the older girl; the boy was clearly smitten. Usagi had a huge sundae in front of her.

****

In an ice cream shop in Nerima, Akane sat across from her friends Yuka and Sayuri. Akane had a sundae in front of her that was nearly melted; she hadn't the heart to eat such things lately.

****

In an ice cream shop in the more expensive part of Nerima, Nabiki sat opposite Kuno. Nabiki had a large sundae in front of her and slowly ate it as she let him simmer. She smiled wickedly.

****

Ranma gave Ami a hopeful look. "Do you really think you can locate my mom?"

Ami tried not to raise his hopes prematurely. "Maybe. I don't exactly have a lot to work from, and many records that old have not yet been computerized."

****

Akane gave her friends a hopeful look. "Did you really see Ranma yesterday? Is - is he okay?"

Sayuri and Yuka glanced at each other; best not to get her hopes up too much. "Well, yes, but he was in his girl-form. As to okay... he was wearing a dress."

****

Kuno gave Nabiki a piercing glare. "You have consumed the specified quantity of confections. Now, tell me what I wish to know."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. He better not get his hopes up if he wasn't willing to pay. "I _may_ have found where the pig-tailed girl has gone... for a price."

****

Shingo looked angry. "I can't believe your dad won't tell you about your mom. What a butt-head."

Ami frowned at the boy. "Shingo! You shouldn't talk about others that way." She noticed Ranma and Usagi's looks. "Even if it happens to be true."

****

Sayuri looked irritated. "I don't see why you're still moping over that jerk, Akane. You're much better off without him."

Akane frowned at her friend. "Sayuri! Don't talk about Ranma that way." She noticed the looks her friends gave her. "Besides, if - if I don't have Ranma, what else is there left me?"

Yuka tried to be positive. "There's Kuno!"

Sayuri nodded. "Or Gosunkugi!"

Akane glared at her friends.

****

Kuno looked desperate. "I _must_ know where my pig-tailed goddess has fled. I'll pay anything!" He laid five thousand yen on the table.

Nabiki frowned at the insane kendoist. "You'll have to do better than that, Kuno-baby."

****

Ami studied her notepad. "Hmm. Okay, I have you and your father's names and birthdays. I should also be able to get more from your school records." She looked at Ranma. "Meet me after school. We'll go to the office and ask to see your file. You need to be there to give permission for someone else to see your records."

Ranma nodded. "After school tomorrow then."

Shingo gave him a smile. "I hope you find your mom. I'd hate not being able to see my mom for so long." Usagi just nodded her agreement, being too consumed in consuming her sundae to speak.

****

Sayuri studied her friend. "Well, he's in Juban. You might leave early tomorrow and head over to Juuban High. You can probably catch him as he leaves."

Akane nodded. "After school tomorrow then."

Yuka gave her a smile. "I hope things work out for you Akane. You've really been depressed lately. I know I'd be depressed if I were missing my True Love." Her smile turned silly and her eyes glazed over as her two friends stared at her and shook their heads.

****

Nabiki studied the pile of money. Kuno added another five thousand, bringing the total up to twenty five thousand. "Hmm. Okay, she's in Juban. If you leave school early tomorrow, you should be able to catch her as she leaves Juuban High."

Kuno jumped up and raised his bokken aloft. "After school tomorrow then. The pig-tailed girl and I shall meet once more, and then we shall date!"

Nabiki tried not to choke on her sundae. "Well Kuno-baby, I hope you find her. I hear Ranma was in the area as well. I know I'd hate to see you lose the pig-tailed girl to him." She shook her head as Kuno yelled and ran out the door; maybe the jerk would transfer and make everyone's life easier.

And so ends Part 2 of Wild Horses and Rabbits Don't Mix. Next time, showdown at Juuban High. Who will be left standing? Will the school be left standing? How will Minako react to the competition? Or vice-versa?

Author's notes: I know that Genma hasn't changed yet, at least not to anyone's knowledge. Just think of it as more of Ranma's bad luck. Yes, Koshino-yu onsen is a real hotspring in Juban. Yes, Triumph International is a real Japanese manufacturer of lingerie. Who knew Ryoga was a Sailor-V otaku? Maybe he saw her in England, or Greece, or China... there's a side story for another time. Ranma hasn't met his mother yet in either form; remember, Nodoka doesn't enter the story until after New Years in the normal Ranma universe. Given the way this story is going, it'll be sooner here. I haven't seen any hint of the names of Minako's parents, so I just made her mother's name Amai, which means indulgent. The idol Pandora was in Sailor-V, volume 3; the evil Hawaiians were in volume 7, and the karaoke battle was in volume 14, for those who just _have_ to know. 


End file.
